Oh Mother... | Fenna + Atsuko | Desert Island Car

Atsuko Samukura

Oh, this island truly had everything, didn’t it? It was nice and warm during the day, and come night, her fire became a necessity. People would gather around it, dry their things, themselves… People who might normally shun her for her love of the flame were now relying on her. Sure, Dexter was also a self-proclaimed ‘expert’ in the realm of campfires, but that wasn’t the same.

Tonight, Atsuko was happily enjoying the campfire for the evening. It burnt strong, long, and warm, as any good fire should. She could have easily fallen asleep, letting the crackle of the flame and the humming of the space heater lull her to sleep. To another day of her tropical vacation.

But she couldn’t sleep, lamenting how her supplies would surely run out. She didn’t carry enough fire-making tools on her person to last several days, she had more she kept at home, and often needed to refill her bag. She would run out soon, and then what? As long as there were two sticks to rub together, they could start a fire. But if they were going to run out of trees, then what? She could always watch that tape, but why should she have to?

Her internal monologue was cut short as another visitor to the fire appeared in the corner of her eye. That naive woman who surely hated Atsuko. What a fool.

“…I see even you’ve changed your mind about my flame, hm?” She was already antagonizing Fenna and she hadn’t even been there five seconds.

Fenna Van Daalen

Fenna didn’t share Atsuko’s connoisseur’s eye for flame, and she was certainly at a loss for how to feel about the woman herself. If she could just avoid her, she would, but her dear Arin’s book had been ruined by the waves, and if there was any chance it could be saved by drying it out beside the fire… She could suffer a hit to her pride for that.

But maybe there was a way to have her cake and eat it, too. If Atsuko never noticed she was there… they wouldn’t have to talk, right? If she kept her footsteps soft and hid by the trees, on the exact opposite side of the fire–

Atsuko Samukura “…I see even you’ve changed your mind about my flame, hm?”

White woman spotted.

“…Uh… Hi.” Under her breath she mutters, “The fire wasn’t the issue…”

Atsuko Samukura

Fenna Van Daalen

Oh, Fenna… Poor, sweet, naive Fenna. If you were using the flame’s services, Atsuko would be aware of it. It was almost an extension of herself, in that sense. But that unfortunately meant she would be unable to avoid the innkeeper. It’s not like Atsuko was in any hurry to converse with Fenna, either. But what was she supposed to do? Just sit there in silence? No. If Fenna was going to use her fire, she would have to pay the toll.

Fenna Van Daalen “…Uh… Hi.”

“…………..”

Atsuko couldn’t quite make out what the second half was, but if she had, she would have had some choice words. She still failed to see how she was in the wrong in that situation. Honestly, how would Fenna have felt if it was her? If it was whatever book she was trying to dry now, and that child had refused to give it back? What then?

“It’s a warm evening, isn’t it? The fire… will make it even warmer. Many have warmed themselves by it already… and their belongings.” And seeing as Atsuko still felt Fenna was wearing far too little to be warm in most weather, she was clearly warm-blooded and didn’t need the fire for her own warmth. So her logic led her to believe she would be, perhaps, drying a belonging. But if it was still wet even now, was it too late to be salvaged? They’d find out, wouldn’t they?

Atsuko chuckled, barely audible over the crackling of the fire, as she recalled an earlier conversation of theirs.

“…Looks like I got my tropical vacation after all, hm?”

Fenna Van Daalen

Atsuko Samukura “It’s a warm evening, isn’t it? The fire… will make it even warmer. Many have warmed themselves by it already… and their belongings.”

“…”

Fenna shivered a little. The woman’s manner would have unnerved her under the best of circumstances, but here and now… With the same ease that she now sat and tended the fire, Atsuko had threatened a child with it for personal gain– Fenna wouldn’t forget that easily. How much more was she capable of?

But… maybe she was judging unfairly, letting the cat-bot’s threats get to her head. Or maybe she was a bit naive. Either way, part of her wanted to give the young lady one more chance, and since they were stuck together for the moment, she would listen to that urge this time. She didn’t want to believe that any of these kids (Jack excluded) had that kind of horrible potential, that one of them could really…

She needed a smoke so bad. Maybe the cigarettes would dry out, too.

Atsuko Samukura “…Looks like I got my tropical vacation after all, hm?”

“…Guess so. Hell of a thing ta call a vacation.”

As a sort of half-hearted peace offering, Fenna nudged her book to the side where Atsuko could get a better look at it. Not too close to the fire, of course. Speaking of… She’d heard rumors of the attempted bonfire in the furniture car, but she was curious how Atsuko would present the information herself.

“Where’d that painting a yours get to, anyway…?”

Atsuko Samukura

Fenna Van Daalen

Fenna Van Daalen “…”

“……….”

Atsuko couldn’t lie. She was having a great time poking at Fenna. Usually, if she didn’t like someone, she would just avoid them or have papa deal with it. So to be stuck with someone like Fenna meant she had no choice but to use their interactions wisely—and that, to Atsuko, meant antagonizing her. She found Fenna to be a naïve fool as it was.

But to be wary of people like her and Jack… maybe she had a better head on her shoulders than Atsuko gave her credit for. It seemed like the people on this train didn’t seem to get that she wasn’t playing around. And she might have considered Jack to be a complete fool, even moreso than Fenna, but even she knew not to mess with him. What’s more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose?

Fenna Van Daalen “…Guess so. Hell of a thing ta call a vacation.”

“…You’re not enjoying this? What a shame. It’s a welcome change for me. It’s nice and warm, and I don’t have people like you and that bucket of bolts trying to lecture me. Because people need me here. Need the flame… to even survive. That, to me… is a vacation from the outside world, where I have to conduct my business away from the prying eyes of others. It’s proof that coming on this train wasn’t a waste of time after all.”

Perhaps she was prattling on just because she wanted to push Fenna’s buttons. They were quite nice buttons to push, after all. What better than to tear down the woman’s holier-than-thou attitude when she hardly knew a thing about the real world at such a ripened age?

Fenna Van Daalen “Where’d that painting a yours get to, anyway…?”

“I sent that wretched thing straight to hell.”

Well, if Fenna was wondering how Atsuko would present that… the answer was shamelessly. And she had already explained the painting’s story time and time again, she didn’t need to repeat herself to the likes of Fenna. It wouldn’t change the woman’s opinion, regardless. She, like that bucket of bolts, would be sticking to their guns and saying she was in the wrong no matter what the truth of that painting really was.

If she couldn’t be understood, then it was better to be feared, wasn’t it?

Fenna Van Daalen

Atsuko may have miscalculated– Fenna wasn’t a stranger to people trying to get a rise out of her, and in a less stressful circumstance than the Gacha Car, she was more than capable of keeping her cool. She listened to the woman’s monologue without much change in expression, aside from furrowing her eyebrows.

Atsuko Samukura “Because people need me here. Need the flame… to even survive.”

Fenna still wasn’t sure exactly what to make of the woman, but she founds something a little… juvenile, if not child-like, in what she said. Did she just want attention and recognition? The fire surely accomplished that in some form, but– if Arty wasn’t the first– how many people and things had been hurt in the process? It must make for a lonely life, she thought. Yet she saw not an ounce of regret in her eyes…

Her armchair psychoanalysis was interrupted by the answer to the one question she did voice.

Atsuko Samukura “I sent that wretched thing straight to hell.”

“…I see.”

That was all she said for a long while, as she moved the book back closer to the fire, spread open to the most important page. If the painting was something Atsuko hated so much she wished to burn it herself… that almost made more sense. Almost. Maybe she wasn’t indecipherable.

Fenna glanced over to the sunset. Was there anything else she wanted to ask her?

“And are yous satisfied wid dat?”

Atsuko Samukura

Fenna Van Daalen

Even if Atsuko had underestimated her opponent, it’s not like she wasn’t going to try. There was nothing she could do to ‘redeem’ herself in Fenna’s eyes (even if Atsuko didn’t care about being redeemed for moral reasons, she just wanted the woman off her case), so why bother? She didn’t often get to toy around with people for fun. She had to maintain some modicum of professionalism at the inn, and she didn’t make a habit of fraternizing with any people who offered her nothing.

Was it lonely? ~~Perhaps~~. No it wasn’t. She lived a life that was best-suited for solitude. The flame didn’t make a habit of inviting others in, and even those in her immediate vicinity didn’t offer that same warmth.

Papa was… well, papa was papa. He did what she asked so long as she did what he asked. But he had also done something unforgivable that she would never forget, nor stop attempting to right that wrong as best she could. And then Tsugiyoshi… She looked up to him, but she was unaware of just how much he saw her as a nuisance. Like the entitled, spoiled brat she was who only had to bat her eyelashes at papa to get what she wanted. Meanwhile, he had to work five times as hard.

But none of that mattered as long as she had the flame.

Fenna Van Daalen “…I see.”

How disappointing. She had hoped to get a bigger reaction out of her. If Fenna got angry at her, or perhaps terrified… Wouldn’t that have been better? Perhaps that’s how people felt about her.

Fenna Van Daalen “And are yous satisfied wid dat?”

What a stupid question.

“…Of course not. Not until I can get off this train and know for sure that the real one is gone. Burning it felt nice… but I can’t be sure it’s erased. To think that papa could still be parading that thing around like a trophy…” Her hands clenched into fists.

“…What a joke.”

She didn’t care how mad he would be at her. She would make sure that painting was nothing more than ashes. Atsuko was a grown woman, and she could do as she pleased, 'papa’s little deer’ or not. She was sure papa had other memories of her mother, he wouldn’t have relied on one source. So until the real thing was reduced to ashes, every bit of oil paint on that canvas nothing more than cinders on the ground as papa mourned it… She wouldn’t be satisfied.