Abel Lazarus He looks a little sheepish- He definitely gets she has no starting point here- but in his defense She did sort of Start the nastiness of their first interaction
Oh, Asuka absolutely started it. But as far as she’s concerned, since she didn’t finish it, fault lands squarely at Abel’s feet. It’s a lot easier to be angry if you misconstrue things, after all.
Really, all of that should have been enough. They could yell at each other a bit - which totally would get them in trouble with library staff because that’s cool - and then they could go back to hating each other. A simple system without nuance or complications that Asuka would have loved to use right about now.
Abel Lazarus “… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you. It was a silly thing to fight over- it just. Mattered to me.” He wraps his hand around the cross and holds it. “… It wasn’t an excuse, though.”
The apology is enough to clearly stun Asuka. It doesn’t register at first - words just thrown at her without meaning or purpose. Once the purpose reaches her, however, it feels like every retort she had planned vanishes, because this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Why was Abel making this difficult by actually making sense for once!?
Abel Lazarus “I’m. Looking for my own books so I’m offering because I’m already doing a lot of digging around- but if you don’t trust me that’s fine. I’m not going to make you tell me anything.”
Even worse than that… He’s genuine. This isn’t some weird pride thing, where an adult has to pretend they actually care because they yelled at somebody younger than them. This isn’t Abel trying to save face. He’s actually sorry - and sorry to Asuka in particular. He actually cares that he may have hurt her, and thinks he may have been in the wrong there.
He’s offering to help her find her own book - but he’s not forcing the help either. It’s not some charitable thing that’s just for ego.
It’s infuriating, and the red in Asuka’s vision somehow seems to multiply.
“I don’t want you help. Why would I-”
Abel Lazarus “I have.” He admits- but it’s really because he can’t lie. “I have tried Therapy. I know I need to… do better. So I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that, and you don’t… have to forgive me.”
No. No, no, no, no - that’s worse.
Asuka doesn’t want to hear any of this. She doesn’t want to have to consider Abel’s struggles when she’s dealing with so much. She doesn’t want to actually have to see Abel as a human instead of on obstacle, something to laugh and make fun of and take her anger out on.
It has to be too late for that - there’s no other option here.
“Shut up! Just - I didn’t ask! It was a rhetorical question, you can’t be, like, that stupid! Let me spell it out to you, because you’re so thick you’re totes missing the whole point I was making!”
Her eyes shine with pure frustration, and her fists are clenched tightly. She might be seconds away from swinging, but she at least has the composure and mind to stop herself from going that far right now.
"I don’t want to hear you sob story! I don’t want to get to know you! I don’t want you to lie and tell me some fake-ass apology you’ll take back as soon as I start being “difficult” or whatever! I want you to leave. You’re…What would you even do to help me, huh!?"
There’s another pause. It’s not enough. It won’t-
The idea hits Asuka, and her mouth opens before she can stop herself.
“You’re probably going to stab me, right? Take me somewhere nice and isolated and just, like, finish me off yourself. I bet that’s what you want! You’re probably no better than Fenna was!! Such a hypocrite.”
She takes a step back, just in case. It’s mostly just a series of angry words without purpose, but…
Well, be careful what you say and all that junk, right?
