The cat's outta the bag | Viper + Nekoneko + Comedy | Desert Island Car

Viper

With the recent run of fights and injuries, Viper was starting to get concerned that Haruka would run out of medical supplies… there was only one person…or, well, cat, she could think of that would potentially be able to provide. That darned cat.

“NEKONEKO!” She hollers, she’s not entirely wanting to spend forever looking around for their feline captor, “NEKONEKO!” She calls out, sounding a lot like Arthur Morgan calling out for Lenny (From hit game Red Dead Redemption 2)!

“Pspspspspsps…here, murderous kitty…” Whether Nekoneko even heard the first one nor cared didn’t concern her. She would find that cat. Whilst Viper didn’t hope for much, she at least hoped she could get somewhere. Appeal to one of her captors.

Narrator

Whether it was the yelling or the pspsping, Neko-Neko did indeed show themselves! Exactly where they came from was a mystery, but they weren’t coated in sand, so probably not underground…? They slipped around the trunk of a tree and waved.

“Yes! How can I help you? Or what is it, exactly, ya can’t just help yourself with?”

Viper

“Whoa! Hey lil’ dude!” Viper acknowledges with a tilt of her head and her own ‘:3’ smile to match the kitty vibes going on in the room. Folding her arms across her chest, she had to admit she was impressed by their mysterious appearance as if by magic. Well, she doesn’t want to stand there staring awkwardly until they leave, soooo, best to ask her question!

“…Do you have, like? Any medical supplies?” Viper could already predict the answer she would get, but she had a plan of action! She was going to try her hardest to get those supplies.

Narrator

Viper “Whoa! Hey lil’ dude!”

“Small but mighty, I’d say! Ehe.”

Viper “…Do you have, like? Any medical supplies?”

“Healin’ you lot would really go against the spirit of things, wouldn’t ya think?”

“And you got plentya ways to kill each other without any fancy-schmancy medicine, believe us! Nyahaha!”

Viper

Viper expected the response, really… well, she wasn’t going to give up so easily. Humming thoughtfully, she pretended to ponder for a few moments, before leaning down to the cat’s level, giving them an almost… pleading look. It wasn’t like she expected it to work itself, but it was more… for effect.

“Kinda, I can see why you think that, but…” Viper tilts her head, “Wouldn’t it be more inconvenient for you for us to all stop dropping dead with nobody to blame for our murders? Wouldn’t it put a dampener on this game you’ve got us playing in?”

“I know you probably don’t care who is actually guilty or anything, but… in the spirit of fairness, wouldn’t you want a murder to be legit? Not just someone dropping dead from an injury that could have been prevented?”

Viper leans in a little closer.

“C’mon, kitty, be reasonable here. I’m tryin’ to play your game.”

Narrator

Neko-Neko had their claws out at the breached distance, but they didn’t strike. Their heads just tilted about, in some weird alternate-universe facsimile of a cat listening.

“Um, if you’re worried about preventable injuries, maybe you could… not go around picking fights?”

“The slaughter’s the most important part here, kiddo.”

“It does go against the spirit of the game a little if everything’s an accident, but… Hey, there’s precedent for that, too. We can work something out, don’tcha worry your fluffy, detachable little head.”

Viper

Narrator “Um, if you’re worried about preventable injuries, maybe you could… not go around picking fights?”

“Naw. That’s too easy.” Viper quips back with a snort, “'Sides, ain’t just askin’ for me. I’m bein’ like, real considerate ‘n’ sh-t an’ askin’ for others too.” …Others who also picked preventable fights, mind you!

Their latter comments earn a thoughtful hum- she supposed they had a point. It was becoming increasingly obvious she wasn’t going to get anywhere with them… That’s okay, she can move on to plan two!

“…Glad to hear you’re prepared.” That part was…somewhat sarcastic, the comment about her head being detachable earns a squint, but otherwise she seems…Fine.

“…Ok, be real with my, kitty cat, just what would you be willing to provide for anyone who asked?”

Narrator

Viper “'Sides, ain’t just askin’ for me. I’m bein’ like, real considerate ‘n’ sh-t an’ askin’ for others too.”

“We’ve got zero interest in you bein’ considerate, thanks.”

Viper “…Ok, be real with my, kitty cat, just what would you be willing to provide for anyone who asked?”

“Um… It’s on a case-by-case basis more than anything, nya…”

“I’m really just here to guide you! Not run your errands.”

Viper

Alrighty- that answered her question! Viper conceded, but she was not defeated! She felt as if her destiny lie elsewhere.

“Yeah, alright. Hear you loud and clear, Kitty cat. Feel free to go back to what you were doing.” She offers her hand for a civil handshake- whether Nekoneko gives it or not is another matter. But she says her goodbyes, and heads off in the direction of the shack.

Onto plan B!

Approaching the shack, Viper knocked on the door- mostly to give any warning to the occupant in case they were busy with some kind of totally weird business that she was coming in.

“Anyone home? Gotta ask a favour!”

Wow, so polite as she barges into their home!

Narrator

The light half of Neko-Neko shook her hand for a brief second but then– they were gone again, in a blink.

Now inside the hut, Viper would walk in on Comedy stooped over the tapes. At first glance, it looked like they might be trying to organize them, but then they clearly intentionally separated two that were stacked together and carefully laid them askew on the ground. If there was a method to their madness, it certainly wasn’t obvious from just watching.

Viper “Anyone home? Gotta ask a favour!”

When they stood back to admire their work, that was when they noticed Viper had not just knocked but come inside…

“Ah–”

They rushed to put their mask back on.

“I live to serve.~ 🙂 Ahaha. You’re… Viper, right? Do you need help with your tape? Or…”

They noticed the blood on her shirt and leaned in closer to inspect it. A little too close.

“…What happened?”

Viper

Oh. OH my god. Comedy has a FACE! Terrifying!

Viper raises her brows, and has the audacity to wolf whistle in response to seeing their face before the mask was back on. Please stop being like this, Viper, I beg of you!

“Oh, I got stabbed.” Viper replies nonchalantly to the question about her injury. “Actually came to ask for help with that! Any chance you have some spare medical supplies I can take? I’m gonna need ta keep bandagin’ this an’ some of the others got into some….trouble, too.” She tilts her head, giving them an almost pleading, puppy-eyed look.

“Please? You’re so much nicer than that cat, right?”

Narrator

Comedy just laughed their usual three-syllable laugh at Viper’s bewilderment. It was quickly their turn to be bewildered, though, after hearing the woman’s request.

Viper “Oh, I got stabbed.”

“Stabbed? That’s– So quick to violence! Should I be careful leaving the hut? 🙂”

Viper “Actually came to ask for help with that! Any chance you have some spare medical supplies I can take? I’m gonna need ta keep bandagin’ this an’ some of the others got into some….trouble, too.”

“I have what’s left of a first-aid kit, but otherwise, uh… Hope everyone watches their tapes pretty quick! Ahaha.”

They saunter over to one corner of the hut and pull out a plastic box, fumbling to open the latch with just their left hand. Their right hasn’t left their coat pocket this whole time…

Inside are some bandages, gauze, tweezers, and a half-used tube of antiseptic cream. Not much else.

Viper

“Nah. You’ll be fine as long as ya don’t try and steal from Jack. Y’know, the homeless lookin’ guy? Him?” Viper waves her hand almost dismissively of her own injury. She couldn’t really imagine Comedy getting hurt by anyone particularly quickly, they didn’t exactly… do a lot other than have these tapes! What a sad existance they must have, all alone with just these horrific trauma tapes to keep them company! Boo.

“Hey, I’d be more than happy ta take what you can part with.” Viper nods, “Ya don’t have to give me any if ya don’t wanna, but…it’d be real appreciated. Whatever ya can spare.” She offers her hand, in case Comedy is going to hand the rest of their supplies over.

She glances down at their hands, “…Ya hand alright? Ya ain’t usin’ it.” Viper’s brow furrows. Wasn’t like she cared about Comedy being hurt or anything, she was more… suspicious if anything else. Why would they be hiding their hand like that?