Lazarus has Died | Viper + Abel | Library Car

Viper

Where do we find Viper post-timeskip? We find her searching for Abel, as she often did. She’s seen a distinct lack of his wretched family floating around the place, so she figures he’s safe and has figured out what to do to get them to go away for good and get the room clear conditions met. But where on earth would she find him now?

It’s the sound of someone sliding a ladder, followed by the sound of books being slotted back onto shelves that draws her attention, and she finds Abel out here truly trying to work.

“ABEL.” She starts, skittering up behind him with increased speed. She reaches for his hands, taking them and holding them behind his back. “What do you think you’re doing? Trying to work.” Viper scolds teasingly, before releasing him. “At least let me help you or something!”

Then, much quieter she adds, “Did… you get things sorted with them? Get your questions answered?”

Abel Lazarus

Viper “What do you think you’re doing? Trying to work.” Viper scolds teasingly, before releasing him. “At least let me help you or something!”

Abel froze for half a second- still on edge- but he loosens up and sighs as he gets scolded.

“Well- didn’t seem like anyone else would be bothering with the return books.” He looks at the book in his hands with a frown. It’s pretty beat up looking. He’s not even sure if there’s a point in shelving it- but hey. Why not? “Feel free to grab some and put some away- just make sure it’s where they belong.”

Oop and his hands are going behind his back. Sure, okay. He’s mindful of his shoulder as he moves.

Viper “Did… you get things sorted with them? Get your questions answered?”

He pauses again. “… Yeah, Though-”

He frowns. “I wanted to check some books out but I wasn’t allowed to. Something about some Check out device we’re missing.” He looks annoyed. “So I can’t check them out and have to figure something else to do with Solanus and Ramona. I don’t want to just… Leave them there for people to read but I don’t want to also lose being able to go back and check things.”

He pulls his hand free so he can rub his face.

“I had to read Ramona’s book and… I’ll just say it was something. I took notes on it.”

Viper

“…Check out device, huh…?” Viper leans her head onto Abel’s good shoulder, having to stand on her tip-toes to do so a little. She makes little effort to actually reach for any of the books, and puts more effort into seemingly trying to stop Abel from doing so himself.

“I thiiiink I might know a little bit about that?” Viper tilts her head, reaching into one of the pockets on her bag and pulling out her phone.

She powers it on and begins flicking through her camera roll as she listens to the latter part of Abel’s dealings with the books, and nods slowly.

“We’ll get it sorted, ’kay? I’m proud of ya for bein’ able to read it.” Viper looks up from her phone to reach over and squeeze his hand gently. “Ya did great.” She glances back down at his phone-

“But- I got this thing from the gacha, right? I took pictures of it, ‘cause I got Atsuko ta burn it…but…” Viper shows him the picture of the book check out log. “This is probably what ya lookin’ for…” Wait a second. She burnt it?

Abel Lazarus

Viper “But- I got this thing from the gacha, right? I took pictures of it, ‘cause I got Atsuko ta burn it…but…” Viper shows him the picture of the book check out log. “This is probably what ya lookin’ for…” Wait a second. She burnt it?

Oh Viper. Don’t worry about getting him to stop working! He stopped right now!

“You what?”

It seems for a moment he believes he didn’t hear her- but then it starts to be easy to realize he’s hoping he didn’t. She… Burned it. She Burned. The thing he needed.

He looks at the photo on her phone and for a moment it looks like he would like to throw her phone but luckily he seems to manage to control himself.

“Viper.” He lets out a little breath. “Why Did you burn it? Are you going to burn the bathroom button next?” He pinches the bridge of his nose- but it seems like he’s no longer so much angry as he is just. Upset. “What was the point in that? You didn’t figure we might need it?”

Viper

Viper stares at him.

There’s seemingly about 0.2% of a thought slowly processing in her head judging by the blank expression on her face, but then she suddenly scowls.

“Wh- How was I meant to know we’d need it?!” Viper hadn’t thought much of the contents. At the time, it had just been another piece of kindling for the fire of the… whatever it was she and Atsuko had going on. “NO I’m not going to burn the bathroom button!” Her face turns a little pink with the fact that she’s a bit… embarrassed she hadn’t even considered they might need it.

Not the context in which it was burned.

“Look- I was spending some time with Atsuko, we were getting real close, burning things together, and I thought maybe I’d get somewhere- but then she made me bark like a dog as a like, humiliation thing? And I dunno I guess it was getting somewhere, just not where I was hoping.” …Viper?????? Did you really just a. admit you did it because you thought you might get to kiss Atsuko or something, and b. that she made you bark like a dog??? And you’re just saying it like that.

Abel Lazarus

Viper “Wh- How was I meant to know we’d need it?!”

“Because we got it? Everything was either important or belonged to someone! And I doubt that just belonged to someone for fun!” He sighs- but she keeps talking.

Viper “Look- I was spending some time with Atsuko, we were getting real close, burning things together, and I thought maybe I’d get somewhere- but then she made me bark like a dog as a like, humiliation thing? And I dunno I guess it was getting somewhere, just not where I was hoping.”

And Talking!

Abel gives her the blankest look in the world. Like he thinks she’s suddenly going to admit she lied if he pretends she never said any of that.

He’s not so lucky, though.

“You. Burned it. To get Atsuko to. What? Kiss you? Are you serious?” Atsuko’s like. Cute or whatever but he’s 1.) too gay to get doing all of that for her, 2.) Not Viper Enough to think that barking and burning things is worth it for a possible kiss.

“… Viper I promise I care about you but that sounds pathetic. Please tell me you understand that.” He puts his head in his hands.

“You burned that thing we needed for someone who just made you bark. That’s all you got. I can’t- I can’t believe- Viper!” Oh boy he’s frustrated. “Bark. Right now.” What is this? The new loyalty test?

“Bark and I’ll forgive you for this.” Come onnnnn Abel. Do you really think she’s going to be embarrassed by this? She isn’t. You’re just frustrated and know you’d be mortified by it.

Viper

“I didn’t know that!” Viper feels like, perhaps, she missed a memo somewhere along the lines. “Next you’ll be tellin’ me we need some weird cookbook! Or a Star Wars CD!” I can’t wait for this to come back and bite her in the butt a few cars from now! That would just be funny.

“WH- NO???? Ya just, like, totally don’t get it. Atsuko was cute! Really cute! I made her smile? I thought I was like, gettin’ somewhere! Ya know? Warmin’ up th’ ice queen?” Viper shrugs. Abel really doesn’t want to hear about her romance attempts, I’m sure, but… he gets to know! “I mean, it’s like, not a total loss.” Viper. VIPER. “AND. NOT. PATHETIC.” She adds, seeming more offended by that than anything else.

There’s a pause, and its her turn to give him the blank look again.

“Huh?” Did she hear that right? It felt considerably weirder for Abel to ask it of her. Viper’s nose scrunched up a little and she huffed, before giving a very half-hearted, “Woof woof.” Wow, Viper. You gave Atsuko the full performance and Abel gets this weak display? Her nose remained scrunched up.

“If ya think this is gonna embarrass me inta feelin’ bad? I gotta warn ya, I got a very different view of embarrassin’, Abes.” Not that he doesn’t know this already…

Abel Lazarus

Viper “Next you’ll be tellin’ me we need some weird cookbook! Or a Star Wars CD!” I can’t wait for this to come back and bite her in the butt a few cars from now! That would just be funny.

Personally I’m sure it’s more likely to be the cookbook might be needed- but Abel is so gobsmacked he’s suddenly decided a Star wars car is probably just as likely as anything.

Viper “AND. NOT. PATHETIC.”

Zero points won over with your romantic woes Viper. He still thinks you’re a little bit pathetic for it but that’s also mainly because he’s so pissed off about it.

Viper “Woof woof.”

“Commit.” Now it’s just a search for catharsis. It’s not embarrassing to her sure- but he’d find it personally mortifying- so it works to make him feel like he’s gotten back at her without him actually having to embarrass her. “Bark. And I’ll forgive you for being so whipped you burned things that might have been helpful for… What? A Chance?”

At this rate he’s going to find Atsuko’s book and make her ask Viper to bark again but that one will be Way more awkward to pull off AND watch.

“You know- Little you told me All about how you ‘cheated’ on me last car. This is payback for that too.” Okay. Now he’s just being an asshole. This is good and purely just to be a dick and feel a little better about it because he could not care less about Viper kissing someone else despite making him marry her with her lies.

“Do you know how hard it was to explain to her when I can’t lie? Viper I had to tell her about polyamory in the vaguest way possible.” He crosses his arms and man is it ever clear he’s just giving her a hard time.

Kinda what she deserves for hitting on his grandma, though. SPEAKING OF.

“AND YOU HIT ON MY GRANDMOTHER. BARK.”

Viper

I’m also thinking that the cookbook might be needed. Oh well! Sure hope it isn’t essential! 🙂

Understandable, though, Viper is a little pathetic. Just a little, of course. But whipped?! Viper was in no way whipped- in her mind, at least. She was, however, in my opinion… certainly whipped to some degree. There’s no way that what she let Atsuko get her to do was anything other than just her being whipped.

“I didn’t think it’d be useful, okay!” Viper protested, her hands clenched a little with how her cheeks puffed up in frustration and her face turned away from Abel. But then he hit her with the latter part, and her face did turn red.

“Ughhhh… I didn’t see her! I’m sorry, but, like, I totes got carried away? What can I say, Su-chan was, like, right there, and after our date, I knew they like… totes find me totes sexy? Ya should’a seen how they looked at me-” Viper stop deflecting. “What was I supposed to do! Not kiss them?” Pause.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOUR GRANDMA IS HOT?????” Viper replies rather incredulously, but rolls her eyes. “FINE!”

And she barks. More of a performance than even Atsuko got. Perhaps that would make him forgive her super hard.

Abel Lazarus

Viper And she barks. More of a performance than even Atsuko got. Perhaps that would make him forgive her super hard.

Leading up to the bark he was getting more and more frustrated- but it seems he really just needed to get to feel that and complain about dumb little things because-

Once she barks he… Relaxes? That worked????

And then he starts…. Laughing? Truly Doubling over and losing it. It seems he did indeed forgive her- not that. There was a real risk he wouldn’t. He’s definitely forgiven her for far worse but “hot grandma” and “Gay bonfires” being the line would be funny.

“Viper you’re an ass.” But he hugs her for a moment. It’s not long but it’s something. A little hint he’s working through things.

But when he pulls away he’s… Crying? He’s still giggling but there’s tears in his eyes and it doesn’t seem like they’re being caused by giggling too hard or anything- “I’m sorry.” He wipes his face and tries to stop himself but… It’s actually pretty hard to stop crying. In fact it seems he’s really needed some big explosive emotional release because I’m pretty sure he’s not in control of any of what he’s feeling right now.

“I’m sorry.” He’s just going to repeat himself it seems- but hey. He feels safe enough to express anything- even if it’s… Not on purpose. That or his emotions bottle shattered!

Viper

Abel is laughing and that’s a huge relief! She was forgiven! It was hard not to when he was so clearly delighted by her performance. Yeah, Screw you Luanne! You thought she could never make a funny joke ever!

“That’s exactly why you love me.” Viper huffs, almost triumphantly. But she’d looked away, so the hug surprised her at first. Reaching up, she pets his arm as it wraps around her, before fake shrugging him off. “Alright, alright tough guy. I get it.” She teases, but her smile falters as he pulls away and he’s crying.

It’s a little… strange at first because he’s still giggling just a little, but she turns to him, reaching up and gently wiping at his eyes with her sleeve. Oh, no, did she do something wrong after all? That’d just be a nightmare. She hushes him so gently, giving him a bit more space than she normally would- she doesn’t want him to clam up, after all.

“Hey- no, don’t be sorry, idiot…” It’s said in her normal, teasingly-affectionate way. “What’s up? Stuff jus’ gettin’ to ya?” Viper moves one arm down to hold onto his hand, she laces their fingers together to give him more effective comfort, brushing some of his hair from his eyes. “C’mon. Don’t tell me it’s jus’ over th’ silly paper. We can still go ask Jimbo and Timbo ’bout it with the pictures, yeah?”

Abel Lazarus

Viper “What’s up? Stuff jus’ gettin’ to ya?”

He hiccups and miserably nods. Yeah. That seems right. It’s probably that.

“… I don’t know. I just… I wanted to keep the books.” His voice is a little weaker and the giggles turn into just crying noises. Seems it mostly was a burst of hysteria at the end there. “There’s… So much written in them and. I can’t possibly read them all here. I can try but.” He wipes his face semi aggressively.

“… There’s. A Part in… Mom’s… I don’t know.” He squeezes her hand for a moment. “I took notes on it but it’s… Not the same.”

And he gets quiet. “She did love me… For a little at least I guess. I read… I read about my birth mostly and. She had so much love for me until she held me.” And even if he’s trying to let her go- reading about her having those feelings of love towards him… Being so excited to see him and Cain- If he just doesn’t finish the chapter it’s…

It’s a glimpse of what he should have had. A sober mother who loved him. The rest of it is pain and misery in every other part he read but that small part. It’s everything he could have wanted. Even if just for a little.

… “That’s not their names, you know?” Because of course he’d have to comment on that while admitting to just some of what he read.

Viper

Viper squeezes his hand back gently right after he squeezes hers. She looks at him with that furrowed brow she’d become somewhat accustomed to by now, and her heart aches for him. For what Abel could have had. A mother who was truly able to keep loving him and not treat him how she did.

“Oh, Abel…” Her free hand cups his face, hoping he doesn’t reject the gesture, as she wipes at his eyes again. “Ya been through so much.” He’s so so traumatised. Viper’s just… glad he’s here. Somewhere that she hopes can… in some ways help him. “I’m so proud of ya, y’know? Ya don’t have ta rush it. If we both get outta here, we got all th’ time in the world, okay?”

“I’m… glad that maybe… at least it could help ya get some… of ya questions answered.” Viper squeezes his hand again. “Jus’ please. Don’t push yaself too hard.”

There’s a pause, and she shrugs. “Eh. Timbo and Jimbo’s easier.”

Abel Lazarus

Viper “I’m so proud of ya, y’know? Ya don’t have ta rush it. If we both get outta here, we got all th’ time in the world, okay?”

He somewhat rejects her gesture- half lets her before needing to take over for his own security. This car isn’t safe. Inherently.

It’s ingrained in it.

“It’s…” He wipes his face and focuses on trying to make himself reset the metaphorical bottle for a moment. He’s fineeee.

“I’m okay.”

Viper There’s a pause, and she shrugs. “Eh. Timbo and Jimbo’s easier.”

He sighs- but it’s far less emotional. “You would say that, wouldn’t you?” Abel turns to shelve some more books. “We can talk to them but. It’s fine if it doesn’t work out, really. … It might. Be for the better.” It’s possible. If there’s a chance he’d still take it but. Somewhere in there he can realize keeping these might not be the healthiest option for him.

But he doesn’t know that for sure. That’s what gets him.

“What about you? Found your book yet? Or do you need some help with it?”

Viper

“You sure?” Viper asks with that concerned furrowed brow, lowering her hand and letting him take over wiping his face. She seemed… at least satisfied he was fine once he was finally cleaned up, and released his hand from her grip and turned instead to the stack of books.

“MMmmhm. Ya know me too well.” She shrugs. “Guess they probably wouldn’t accept th’ picture… but yeah. Probably for the best ya don’t keep th’ books.” Viper leans her head against his arm, stretching against him somewhat obnoxiously. Looks like now she’s trying to distract him from shelving the books again.

“No… Haven’t really found anythin’ worthwhile jus’ yet.” Viper leans her head onto his good shoulder, seemingly disapproving of his need to shelve more books. She wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him back a little. “Hey. Don’t start working again, Abel.” She huffed.

“Are ya like this at home too? ’Cause if ya are, then I worry ’bout ya. There’s more than jus’ workin’ y’know.” She squeezes him a little, giving him a little affectionate prod in the ribs. “Jus’ try an’ see it as like… a vacation or somethin’?”

Abel Lazarus

Viper She wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him back a little. “Hey. Don’t start working again, Abel.” She huffed.

He looks slightly annoyed again- but he’s able to push that off by! … shelving another book.

Viper “Are ya like this at home too? ’Cause if ya are, then I worry ’bout ya. There’s more than jus’ workin’ y’know.” She squeezes him a little, giving him a little affectionate prod in the ribs. “Jus’ try an’ see it as like… a vacation or somethin’?”

He gives her an apprehensive look. Haha seems people have tried to. Mention this whole thing before-

“Viper- I’ve been working since I was six-“ By his qualifications- “my only… significant break on my resume was between nine and sixteen and even then I worked every moment I was Allowed to.” He was ABSOLUTELY The kid who did group projects on his own THANK YOU for asking.

He shelves another book- even if Viper’s trying to make it very hard. He needed to. For petty reasons.

And for some feeling of control. To feel. Worth it.

The vacation comment makes him wrinkle his nose in distaste. “No. I don’t like vacations. I always just take paperwork with me if I can- it’s… unpleasant. I hate… not being productive. It feels so…” he shakes his head.

“Doing something productive just. Means my existence is worth it. I’m Doing something.”

“… you can’t tell me you haven’t been missing your job while you were here- didn’t you tell us you made games? Back in that. First place?” Simpler times that.

Viper

“An’ that ain’t normal!” Viper protests quickly, “Six year olds don’t work. That’s jus’ messed up!” Whilst unsurprised to hear he was so averse to breaks and actually taking care of himself properly with rest and relaxation, it didn’t mean she had to be happy about it! She’s absolutely trying to make it as difficult as possible for him to continue shelving books. Like a dog that constantly lies all over you when you’re trying to work.

Viper rolls her eyes.

“Abel, the whole point of a vacation is ta relax! It’s all nice ta be productive an’ all but-” Viper trails off unexpectedly, going a little quiet at his statement of him… feeling worth it when he works. She tries not to let it show, but there’s a definite flinch in her expression. Ouf. She doesn’t say anything right at that moment, but…

“…I mean, yeah, I do. But, like, that’s a… hobby thing. I… turned down an offer for a full-time job doin’ it. They uh… scouted me out. Big company. Wanted me, ‘cause my game got so popular.” She admits, her voice going much quieter as she finished her statement. “I jus’… guess I couldn’t. Face it.” It’s hard to admit. Her mouth feels dry. What would her parents think if they knew this?

There’s a long moment of awkward silence, before she adds,

“…So…do you think my existence is… not worth it… because I’m not working?” There’s something so small and vulnerable in the way she says it.

Abel Lazarus

Viper Six year olds don’t work.

“Well not legally I suppose- but I was really just an assistant. Nothing provable In court.” … sigh. “Easy to pass off as just grabbing things for people.”

Viper “…So…do you think my existence is… not worth it… because I’m not working?” There’s something so small and vulnerable in the way she says it.

Abel furrows his brow. “No- of course I don’t think that?” He doesn’t feel… good making viper feel bad for not working but he wasn’t… trying to say anything about her. Just about… him.

“Viper- you don’t… need to prove anything with your existence. It’s enough you’re here.” He puts down the last book in his arms and frowns. “It’s… different. I don’t. Have a Point if I can’t work. It’s… the… only place I mattered. My uncle… probably never would have gotten used to me if I didn’t insist on following him around and making him coffee. I don’t…”

He shakes his head.

“You don’t need to do game design as a job- you don’t… even really need to work, you know? It’s. More so about… what you’re doing I guess. Something that makes you feel… happier. Fulfilled. I just. I don’t feel… fulfilled. Not until I’ve worked at least 50 hours. That doesn’t have to be the same for you.”

Viper

“You do have a point-” Viper protests quickly, giving him a rather… sad look. How could he think of himself like that? “You have a point, if I have a point when I’m not working, you do too.” She’s fiddling with the hem of her gloves, trying to avoid his face now. There’s a definite part of her that still wonders if he was right. That if she could be valid, and there could be a point for her if she didn’t do anything but sit and home and do what she wanted.

“…Are you sure you’re happier? Fulfilled? Or is it just filling the gap that’s left by not knowing what else you can do?” She looks up at him. Viper holds onto him, her arms around him and hugging him against her. “Abel- you need to start living for yourself. Working is fine, but… you need to take a break every once in a while.” She smooths at his side, but it seems to be more of a placating gesture for herself than anything.

“There’s other places you can matter. Like right here. Now. You matter to me. So much.” It’s not quite the same as mattering in a working context, sure, but she hopes… it can at least kinda get the point across. “Sometimes… we can let ourselves be not useful, you know?” God knows she’s been doing that for far too long.

Abel Lazarus

CW: he’s talking about his depression but he also doesn’t believe he’s depressed. Not sure how else to tag this but it’s just sad to read.

Viper You have a point, if I have a point when I’m not working, you do too.”

“It’s different- I’m different.“

Viper “…Are you sure you’re happier? Fulfilled? Or is it just filling the gap that’s left by not knowing what else you can do?”

Okay well that definitely shut him up at least

Viper “Abel- you need to start living for yourself. Working is fine, but… you need to take a break every once in a while.”

“I am living for myself. I’ve been. Miserable without work.” He rubs his face for a moment- unsure how to even begin defending himself here. “I got… so close to normal. I could work and then I’d. Be in control of everything. I knew what I was doing and then I knew Uncle Marius’s company was fine and that I always had something to do- I didn’t. Have to feel so. Bored. Or. Useless. I was less angry and people left me alone- unless they needed some paperwork or something.”

He’s trying to plead his case but I think it’s just making his unhealthy relationship with work even more clear.

Viper “There’s other places you can matter. Like right here. Now. You matter to me. So much.”

“…” He looks away from her- and it’s… at least partially guilt contributing. “… I don’t.” He sighs. “I…” it seems he’s having some difficulties computing. Processing. Connecting some final dots here.

He nervously looks around him- like he thinks he’ll see some one who can save him from what’s happening right now.

“I don’t. Have anything else to do with myself. I don’t. Enjoy things like vacations.” Because you don’t enjoy anything Abel.

Or- perhaps that’s a little hyperbolic. He enjoys some things- that’s for sure- but it’s never all felt… consistent? Some days are better than others but. Others… he works until he drops of exhaustion. Praying that that extra paper will drive off whatever nightmare he knows he’ll have if he’s not tired enough. He spends his free time listening to something constantly to not be alone with his thoughts. Maybe he never enjoys a vacation because work is just a distraction from every issue he never learned to deal with.

And as if to punctuate the thought he shelves three more books. Like he can’t help himself. Like if he held it off he’d just break again and he can’t. He can’t do that. Not now. Not here.

Viper “Sometimes… we can let ourselves be not useful, you know?”

“… yeah. I just. Don’t like to do that. I don’t care what other people do-“ …. Forgetting about your whole fight with Melvin there? “I just. I think you deserve to be happy, Viper. If happiness is. Indie game design or something else that’s fine. But. Happiness is Working for me.”

But that’s not true. Is it? Working just… isn’t so empty. That’s all it really is. It’s all he Has to separate his life from a living Hell, right?

Viper

Abel can only ’I’m not like the other guys’ himself so far with Viper around. Her furrowed brow of concern lowers, and lowers, and lowers until it just looks like she’s really squinting at him. God, Abel worried her so much. So much it hurt.

Abel Lazarus “I am living for myself. I’ve been. Miserable without work.” He rubs his face for a moment- unsure how to even begin defending himself here. “I got… so close to normal. I could work and then I’d. Be in control of everything. I knew what I was doing and then I knew Uncle Marius’s company was fine and that I always had something to do- I didn’t. Have to feel so. Bored. Or. Useless. I was less angry and people left me alone- unless they needed some paperwork or something.”

“There’s so many other things ya can do. Look. At one point, all I did was give up on m’self entirely and push Kanna ta get her career going. I had no… will f’myself. I thought I was happy, and I thought I was fulfilled. But turns out it was mostly jus’ fillin’ th’ gap’a not knowin’ what I wanted ta do with my life once things went ta sh-t.” She loved Kanna. Of course she did. But the unhealthy prioritisation of living through her had been one of the main downsides of her own bout of… doing nothing. Not having a direction for her life.

“There’s other ways to have control in a healthy way…” Viper hugged him now, burying her face against his back as she stood behind him.

Abel Lazarus “I don’t. Have anything else to do with myself. I don’t. Enjoy things like vacations.” Because you don’t enjoy anything Abel.

Or- perhaps that’s a little hyperbolic. He enjoys some things- that’s for sure- but it’s never all felt… consistent? Some days are better than others but. Others… he works until he drops of exhaustion. Praying that that extra paper will drive off whatever nightmare he knows he’ll have if he’s not tired enough. He spends his free time listening to something constantly to not be alone with his thoughts. Maybe he never enjoys a vacation because work is just a distraction from every issue he never learned to deal with.

And as if to punctuate the thought he shelves three more books. Like he can’t help himself. Like if he held it off he’d just break again and he can’t. He can’t do that. Not now. Not here.

“It’s gonna sound, like, horribly cliché, but… ya haven’t found th’ right thing yet. Ya gotta keep tryin’, push through th’boring ones, ta find the good ones that make ya happy. Fulfil ya. What, besides workin’, do ya like? There somethin’ ya collect? Somethin’ ya like ta make?” Viper lets him shelve the books this time. It’s helping him right now, she can put up with it.

“But is it, Abel? Is it truly happiness? Or is it just doin’ somethin’ ta avoid copin’ with th’ burnin emptiness ya know is in ya heart? I did it. For years, all I did was let m’self get absorbed in jus’ playin’ games. Yeah, I liked it, but…I was doin’ it ta hide from th’ failure I became, I s’pose.” Viper squeezes him, so tight. “…Ya ain’t gonna be like me. I won’t let ya.”

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