((CW: Addiction, Death, Abuse, Attempted Murder, Neglect, this contains a more detailed write up of his tape so. Be warned))
Oh Vinzent my love. I’m so endlessly sorry about this.
Abel mostly… Keeps thinking it’ll be easier this way if Vinzent would like to leave. He knows now. Before he’s so attached it’ll hurt worse. Perhaps the time Vinzent is in the tape can be used to… Let Abel mentally prepare for what he feels is inevitable.
Pushing people away is always what he does best, is it not?
He sets himself up on a blanket near the tree- but keeps himself angled away so he doesn’t risk looking at the tv. He knows he’s being selfish, but really? What’s new with him.
-- The Tape but Detailed this Time uwu –
The environment changes so starkly it’s almost dizzying. Tall old walls covered in expensive decorations, expensive pretty furniture, and several red heads fill the room. A loud wailing noise- pitiful and rife with despair immediately rings through the room. The sound can be traced to a small boy. He looks maybe… two? Very small with short strawberry blonde hair. His eyes are screwed shut while his mouth is wide open to let the noise Out. His chubby hands beat at the floor and himself- clearly mid melt down. Occasionally in his wild flailing he hits a much older boy around 13. The boy looks panicked- and desperately attempts to placate the small wailing boy but he’s not doing a very good job at it. At some point it’s going so poorly he desperately pulls his processor off and puts it behind him before continuing. He holds a pink bunny and desperately offers it to the boy- but it doesn’t seem like enough.
A few feet away stands what… might be a four year old? Looking for too long you can realize that maybe the toddlers are both three- but it’s hard to say. The boy… is Abel. Smaller, rounder faced, but still dressed very similarly. His glasses are missing- but his little brown suit is still making sure you know he’s a little academic. His ginger hair is in a very small ponytail.
And his face is frozen in an expression of horror. He can’t seem to tear his eyes from a scene in front of him even with the loud wailing behind him.
Before him stands a tall man- clearly older in age. Wrinkles show that he’s been angry a very long time- and the white nearly taking over the ginger in his hair and stubble makes it clear he’s past his middle aged years. Even then- he’s still very clearly strong and domineering with a large sun tattoo peeking out behind a barely buttoned shirt. His face… looks much like Abel’s. Differences in his eyes and nose help to tell them apart- but its Very clear that even those differences are slight changes to this man’s genes. His face is actively contorted in anger, blue eyes ablaze with fury as he adds to the noise by screaming at a woman in front of him.
The woman is clearly on the taller side but she’s still easily made smaller by the man. Her own strawberry blonde hair is tied into low pigtails, and she’s wearing a thick fur coat. Looking at her then looking at the distraught child on the floor- tells you this family has some pretty strong genes.
It also tells you Abel’s angry nature also seems to run strong in those genes.
The man calls the woman a lot of terrible names- insults her on a variety of topics. He fixates on calling her a failure of a mother. She attempts to scream back but everytime her mouth opens he slaps her across the face. It doesn’t stop her. It never seems to stop her. Even as her cheek blooms with color. Even when his rings cut her face. She keeps going at him. Keeps going.
And the scene changes in a whirl.
Young Abel- around the same age- stands at a set of double doors. He peers through the crack between them.
Inside the room is another violent scene- Abel’s mother, Ramona, has her younger brother pinned to the floor. Her brother looks extremely similar to the older man from the last scene- more so than Abel even does. He just looks like a weaker younger version of him.
Ramona’s hands are wrapped tightly around his throat and Marius desperately attempts to pry them away- but it’s clear he doesn’t have the strength to keep fighting her off. Abel runs from the doors to get a tall man with black hair and desperately he pulls him towards the room. Keeps saying “help- help!” The man doesn’t hesitate. He runs. He pries Ramona off of Marius and in a Very thick russian accent he screams at her.
Marius desperately attempts to catch his breath- coughing and retching and desperately holding his throat with red handprints remaining from Ramona’s grasp. She claws the tall man and calls him Ransom- but he shoves her out of the room easily and turns to collect Marius into his arms to comfort him. Young Abel stands next to his mother outside of the room- and even when he looks at her she just moodily scoffs and walks off. Ignoring that he was ever there.
The scene changes.
Abel is five. It’s clearly Christmas day, smelling of pine tree and… alcohol. The smell of alcohol always followed Ramona. Behind the Christmas tree there’s also a banner that reads, “Happy Birthday, Marius.”
The scent of blood comes through suddenly. Abel and Cain sit on the couch- but only Abel glances over when it starts. He watches a large black body bag be carried out between two cops. Everything looks somber. Only his grandfather, Solanus, is missing from the scene. It’s easy to guess who’s in the bag.
This scene changes quicker.
This scene reeks of Alcohol and Expensive Perfume. Abel is a little older. Maybe a few months. He stands looking at his mother, who sits with her legs crossed and a wine glass in her hand. Benedict was visiting for a little bit- having recently moved to live with his other mother full time. He and Cain were showered with Ramona’s attention. She ruffled their hair and praised them both. Little Abel approaches- tugs on her coat- and receives nothing in response. Again he tugs on her coat and says, “mom?” In a soft voice. Nothing like the way he sounds now.
And again she ignores him. Benedict gives him an annoyed glance- but quickly looks back to Ramona. Cain looks up at Abel- and glances between him and their mother.
“Mom-“
Instead of speaking in response she gives him a nasty expression- calling back far too well to the way she looked at Marius when she had her hands around his neck. She pushed him away and he lost his balance- tumbling to the floor. Ramona stands and grabs Cain before he can make much progress to try and help Abel- but as she walks off with him he reaches over her shoulder for his twin. Benedict gives Abel a disapproving look and stands. “You always ruin things.”
And off he goes after her. Abel pulls himself to his feet and walks off. It doesn’t even seem like he can muster the strength to cry.
And a montage of sorts begins. Ramona. Always Ramona. Her skin and eyes begin to discolor and the alcohol scent starts to wane- but each scene doesn’t actually change much else. Walking past him like he doesn’t exist. Doting on Cain alone in a room Abel also exists in. Moments where when she Does acknowledge him she gives that Same Look. The same one she gave when she pushed him. The same one she gave Marius.
Yet the most she did was push him off once or twice.
And then the montage ends with Abel, nine but looking maybe eleven, standing at her casket. People urge him to lean down to kiss the corpse and he does- but it feels horrible. Benedict sobs on the floor wrapped in her fur coat and Cain holds Abel’s hand tightly. People keep asking him if he misses her. He just doesn’t speak.
And then he’s back in the Lazarus estate. He’s putting his things into his bag but he keeps looking at Marius. Pleading with him with his eyes. Begging him to keep him. Marius won’t look right at him. He wants to scream out. To tell him to not let him go- but he leaves without a fight.
And then he’s thirteen. The house is all new- still expensive but nowhere nearly as much. Family photos cover the walls- but they shake as Abel punches the wall. He puts a hole in it and looks startled. Unsure of himself. Like he didn’t know he had that in him.
His father and step father find the hole later. They make everyone gather to ask about it but he can tell they know it’s Him. Of course they know. His father, a man with long ginger hair and slight greying at his temples, looks tired and holds a sleeping baby. His step-father, Edgar looks much more serious and has more greying to his hair. He looks quite sternly at Abel who can’t seem to keep his gaze.
Abel lies and says it wasn’t him but no one believes him. Even when Cain insists he did it- no one believes them.
Abel wants to scream again.
Another montage of hitting and throwing and Rage. He gets more awkward as he grows. He hits people. He hits things. He breaks things.
And finally he’s fifteen. He’s nearly his full height- standing so much taller than his twin. Cain keeps chattering and giggling. He comes up to Abel and asks to help- insists- and Abel gets frustrated. He’s trying to cut something in the kitchen. Cain tries and tries and Abel Snaps and swings around-
But the blood. The blood. Cain looks frightened and Abel- the coward- ran. Ran from Cain who held the wound as his shirt soaked with blood. Ran until he locked himself in the playhouse. He watches himself pace around and go through many emotions- until Edgar comes and tries to talk to him in a panic. Tries to figure out where Cain is and what happened but Abel just Shrieks at him to go away! To leave him alone! To finally leave him alone and go be with Cain! Ask him if he CARES so MUCH!
He ends up alone, curled up and sobbing on the floor. He’s a coward. A demon. He’s terrible. He wishes he was never born.
The tape ends.
