Just a Friendly Little Talk! | Jack + Abel | Segway Car

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack As he warily approached his Segway, unwilling to mount it until the last possible moment, he glanced around for Abel’s. Hadn’t really been paying that much attention in the circumstances. Maybe Abel had been on the Segway the entire time, and he just hadn’t noticed. All about the same probability.

He’s on his Segway! In fact he’s quite good on it if Jack decides part of the payment should have to be giving him a ride around. Abel would hate it but I’m sure Jack delights in knowing the stuffy little meanie head would have to chauffer him around or something.

Roadie 🪶Jack “So, were ya more interested in knife care or just picking one or stabbin’ people or what.”

He made another face at the stabbing people thing. He’d… Really actually like to avoid having to use the darn thing but. It’s safer to have. A lot safer. He pulls his robber turtleneck up to cover his neck without thinking.

“Knife care. One that can be used but.” He doesn’t SAY hopefully won’t have to be but. Hopefully. He. Feels bad even thinking about harming someone like that again.

But really. He’s always felt bad thinking about it. Does it ever stop him?

Okay Abel don’t… Pull your own version of a Jack mid conversation hm?

“…” He shakes his head and leans against the handles for his segway. “I already have at least that pocketknife- I want to sharpen that. I also. Just want something for safety.” Which. Hopefully Jack will understand. “Easy money, right? Then you can go back to doing whatever you want.”

Roadie 🪶Jack

(cw hand trauma)

Jack hadn’t considered the possibility of being chauffeured, but it would’ve been amusing.

Abel Lazarus He pulls his robber turtleneck up to cover his neck without thinking.

Completely neglecting the context from moments ago, he laughed at that one.

“C’mon, I’m not goin’ for your throat with the butter knife.” Had he left it behind? Probably. Maybe not. Anyone’s guess, including his own.

“ ’sides, you can survive a severed jugular if you know what you’re doin’. In fact…”

He gestured at his own neck before the pain made him realize it was too wrapped up right now. C’mon, man.

“Well. One a’ these is from that, anyway. Hope you’ll still be able to tell it apart from the new one…” Because that should’ve been his main concern with his injury. Right.

Abel Lazarus “Knife care. One that can be used but.”

“…Used for what? Cuttin’ food? Whittling? Screwdriver in a pinch? Plentya types for everything.”

Abel Lazarus “I already have at least that pocketknife- I want to sharpen that. I also. Just want something for safety.”

“More ’f a whetstone guy myself, but I bet there’s a fancy techno-metal sharpener in there somewhere.”

“Whatever kinda ‘safety’ you got in mind, most important part’s gonna be not cuttin’ your own hand trying to use the thing.” He flashed one of his own palms with a grin. “Not that I gotta worry ’bout it too much these days.”

Though it wasn’t on display for long, there was clearly something terribly wrong there. Like the skin of his palms had been ripped off over and over until his body just stopped trying to make it pass for skin anymore. Not that he seemed too concerned about it, of course.

Abel Lazarus “Easy money, right? Then you can go back to doing whatever you want."

“I do like easy money!” You Got Him There.

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack “C’mon, I’m not goin’ for your throat with the butter knife.”

As good natured as this seems- Abel still gives him a half wary look. As far as he’s concerned that came from Nowhere and now he’s thinking Jack is Thinking about stabbing him in the neck and he Doesn’t much appreciate the idea.

Luckily he’s currently knifeless, though.

Roadie 🪶Jack Not that he seemed too concerned about it, of course.

Wow! Two stories of what Jack’s lived though. I wish Abel were a nicer person so he could express any form of concern for Jack- but all of his concern stays internal. He’s met many people with terrible stories of what they’ve lived through. Horrible scars- violent stories. That’s not new.

But Abel has seen scar tissue that built up only once before. Jack’s hands matched Ransom’s back a Great Deal- in a way that at least avoids any sort of… queasiness attached to any sort of medical squeamishness- But also immediately tells him that that is…

Well. It tells him there’s a particularly Large amount of stories attached to it- and that there’s Probably some more emotions behind that than Jack would Ever want to disclose to him.

And Abel won’t push that. He… Does find himself less… Immediately hateful of Jack, though. Far more… pitying. Almost.

Either way. He doesn’t really… Want to end up with similar scarring. He knows what that tends to be like- how Ransom talks about the pain he’s usually in. He glances at his shoulder for a moment.

“Are you offering knife lessons, then? I’m not Hopeless with one.” But he hasn’t really been trained to do much other than light kitchen prep and how to hold a knife in self defense. His ‘training’ really couldn’t continue after….

Uh. Nevermind that.

Either way Marius didn’t push any expectations about the mafia on Abel prior to this but he’d intended on it some day. He’s just jump starting it right? Hopefully he won’t need it.

Roadie 🪶Jack “I do like easy money!” You Got Him There.

“Good. Hop on.” He gestures towards Jack’s segway. “If you want I can show you where the pharmacy is after.” Because really. Looking at Jack… He needs it.

Roadie 🪶Jack

Don’t worry Abel, Jack was already threatening(?) to shove Melvin off a building before the killing game was even announced! …That may or may not help with the worrying, actually.

Abel Lazarus “Are you offering knife lessons, then? I’m not Hopeless with one.”

“Oh? This I gotta see.” Despite having just rambled about different uses for knives, now he was assuming this was about fighting. Well, not completely wrong! “Not givin’ any lessons for free, a’ course.”

“I can letcha knife-fight me for free, how’s that? Somebody’ll sure learn something!” And the other somebody… will die?? Who knew what he was thinking. Probably not much of anything.

Abel Lazarus “Good. Hop on.” He gestures towards Jack’s segway.

There’s a brief cross between an Excalibur face and the face of a grizzled old Western star spotting his sworn enemy on the other side of the town square, but Jack dismissed it with a sigh. Why did this have to be necessary.

He just stuck one foot on for a moment, since that gave him no problems and Abel was still talking, anyway. Stalling who’s stalling?

Abel Lazarus “If you want I can show you where the pharmacy is after.”

“Long as ya don’t think that counts for your payment.”

Pay, pay, pay. What a broken record.

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack “Oh? This I gotta see.” Despite having just rambled about different uses for knives, now he was assuming this was about fighting. Well, not completely wrong! “Not givin’ any lessons for free, a’ course.”

Oh he’s so amused. Thanks Jack. For the faith in him.

“No. I don’t expect you do much for free-” …. Why was he ever scared of this guy again? Sure he’s so clearly mentally unstable but that’s Hardly new for Abel. Ugh. Whatever. “And no. Knife fighting you sounds like a bad idea and I’m not stupid.” Pending, Abel. Sure you might be pretty high Intelligence or whatever but your Wisdom is Abysmal. Quick, what’s a friend? The answer isn’t a punching bag. (Sorry Viper)

Roadie 🪶Jack He just stuck one foot on for a moment, since that gave him no problems and Abel was still talking, anyway. Stalling who’s stalling?

Abel’s face gets even more sour. “Jack. Just. What are you bad on the [dang] thing? Just. Get on mine if you Have to.” He’s Frustrated enough to suggest it himself even if he’s NOT fond of the idea. Come on Jack. He’s getting tired of you. ~~I’m not, though, keep stalling.~~

He pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, Yeah. You’ll get paid. Sure thing. Unless we never do this. Then you’re NOT getting paid.” He makes a hurry up gesture with his hands. He’d much prefer spraying Jack with a water bottle at this point, though.

Roadie 🪶Jack

Abel Lazarus “And no. Knife fighting you sounds like a bad idea and I’m not stupid.”

That got a good cackle.

“But what’s the fun in life if y’ never do anything stupid? C’mon.”

“Obviously a good call in this case, but. Could use better logic than that.” Ah yes, the “logic” of “do whatever you feel like at the moment, even (especially?) if it’s incredibly dangerous to your physical and mental well-being.” Worked(?) for him!

Abel Lazarus “Jack. Just. What are you bad on the [dang] thing?

His shoulders immediately squared defensively, but—

Abel Lazarus Just. Get on mine if you Have to.”

Oh. This sounded so much funnier than attempting to prove he’s not bad at this (and probably failing). Especially with Abel already looking pretty testy. How much worse can we make it?

Abel Lazarus “Yeah, Yeah. You’ll get paid. Sure thing. Unless we never do this. Then you’re NOT getting paid.” He makes a hurry up gesture with his hands.

“Well, that hardly sounds fair…” Jack please.

Finally he moseyed over to Abel’s Segway, giving it a leisurely look-over. To be fair, some slacking was necessary if he didn’t want the literal pain in his neck to flare up again, but judging from the look on his face he was absolutely trying to be irritating on purpose. His life’s work, really.

He proceeded to plant one foot over each wheel well and grip the center bar like he was strangling it. Rather than attempting to set up behind Abel, he’d just positioned himself on the other side entirely, where he could menacingly stare straight into Abel’s eyes the whole trip, halfway blocking his view… if he weren’t like a foot shorter. He wasn’t worrying about that right now.

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack Ah yes, the “logic” of “do whatever you feel like at the moment, even (especially?) if it’s incredibly dangerous to your physical and mental well-being.” Worked(?) for him!

Arguably if Jack Really wanted to fight Abel all he had to do was make sure it was a situation where impulsivity won over logic- Because he’s REALLY happening to want to punch Jack right about now and honestly? Adding the knife in is definitely a bad idea but Abel is REALLY good at bad ideas in the right circumstances.

Roadie 🪶Jack He proceeded to plant one foot over each wheel well and grip the center bar like he was strangling it. Rather than attempting to set up behind Abel, he’d just positioned himself on the other side entirely, where he could menacingly stare straight into Abel’s eyes the whole trip, halfway blocking his view… if he weren’t like a foot shorter.

Abel wants to punch him Abel wants to punch him Abel wants to punch him-

He grips the handlebars with everything in him. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Deep breaths. God. God.

He can’t hit Jack. He can’t. But what he can do…

Abel doesn’t move the segway, he just steps off enough to make it start to lean back- keeping only enough of a foot on it to stop Jack from crashing to the ground if he doesn’t jump off. “Jack. There’s something wrong with you, did your parents not love you enough?” Abel. What happened to like. Being a little nicer or whatever to try and get your number down? That’s Really mean.

Y’know. If Jack cares instead of making it a joke or something.

“Look. Are you going to take this seriously? I’m sure I can find the kitchen store on my own and then I won’t have to pay you.”

Roadie 🪶Jack

It’s all Jack could do to keep a remotely serious expression as Abel gave him that look. Absolutely priceless.

Abel Lazarus Abel doesn’t move the segway, he just steps off enough to make it start to lean back-

Oops dismounting now okay. Jack’s reflexes had him abandoning ship before he could put any thought to it. At least there was no issue landing, even in his current condition.

Abel Lazarus “Jack. There’s something wrong with you,

“D-mn, you just figure that out—?”

Abel Lazarus did your parents not love you enough?”

Oh he wasn’t finished. Jack broke off, more in an attempt to catch up than in any offense. Processing…

“What parents?”

“I just kinda showed up in the woods one day. Probably one a’ those changelings or somethin’. Think ’s supposed to mean I ate my twin or whatever? Not sure. Little hazy that far back, y’know?” As if his recent memories weren’t hazy.

Abel Lazarus “Look. Are you going to take this seriously? I’m sure I can find the kitchen store on my own and then I won’t have to pay you.”

“Seriously as anything.” Was that a no?

He proceeded to mount the Segway again in the exact same fashion, only with a more neutral expression. Well.

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack “I just kinda showed up in the woods one day. Probably one a’ those changelings or somethin’. Think ’s supposed to mean I ate my twin or whatever? Not sure. Little hazy that far back, y’know?” As if his recent memories weren’t hazy.

The blank look Abel gives Jack tells him exactly how unamusing he finds this. Surely that’s just even better for Jack’s enjoyment, though. Regardless! Abel has now made an Assumption about Jack. Changelings? How specific.

“No- That doesn’t mean you ate your twin. You’d have to have parents to have a twin you ate- So you’re just contradicting yourself.” He gives him an even sharper look. “As a Twin that’s something I’d know. Maybe you should work on your story. It’s a bit too much BS.” Is that how people think twins work? Yes it’s a Serious issue in his family to kind of… Treat one twin as disposable- but he didn’t figure people got more delusional than that.

“Changelings are. Related to fairies or something.” Not really his forte to know much more than that- but rest assured that Abel doesn’t believe in fairies- and even if he did he would NEVER believe Jack was one.

“Maybe just lie and say your parents abandoned you in the forest for eating your twin. That’s at least marginally believable.”

Roadie 🪶Jack He proceeded to mount the Segway again in the exact same fashion, only with a more neutral expression. Well.

Fine. FINE. He’ll take that. He just hated the intense eye contact. It made him want to claw at either himself or Jack. If Jack keeps looking too much he might just have to put something over his face. If he’s actually anything like Cain he might like time under a blanket or something.

He grumbles and gets on the segway and FINALLY they’re off- Hopefully making Jack Look for the place will stop him from trying to Stare at him.

Roadie 🪶Jack

(cw extremely oblique animal death)

Abel Lazarus The blank look Abel gives Jack tells him exactly how unamusing he finds this. Surely that’s just even better for Jack’s enjoyment, though.

Oho, hit a sore spot? Good to know, good to know. Not that Jack was likely to remember exactly which part had hit like that. He’d probably start bringing up forests to try to irritate Abel later.

Abel Lazarus “No- That doesn’t mean you ate your twin. You’d have to have parents to have a twin you ate- So you’re just contradicting yourself.” He gives him an even sharper look. “As a Twin that’s something I’d know. Maybe you should work on your story. It’s a bit too much BS.”

Go off, king. Jack was a little taken aback, but more out of disbelief than any sort of scolded.

“Maybe that’s how it works where you’re from, sure. Can’t just make assumptions ’bout everyone else in the world, though.”

Abel Lazarus “Changelings are. Related to fairies or something.”

“Didn’t know you’re the big expert on that, too. Got a whole fairy twin taxicologist thing goin’ on?” Presumably that was meant to reference taxonomy. Or possibly taxidermy. If he didn’t fully know either word, was there really a difference?

Abel Lazarus “Maybe just lie and say your parents abandoned you in the forest for eating your twin. That’s at least marginally believable.”

He squinted for a second at that, seeming slightly less amused, before shaking his head.

“But where’s the pizazz in that? ’sides, the whole point’s that there weren’t parents in the first place. You’re fixatin’ on the wrong part.”

“But you’re welcome t’ use that one for yourself if ya like. I won’t sue.” How generous.

Abel Lazarus He grumbles and gets on the segway and FINALLY they’re off- Hopefully making Jack Look for the place will stop him from trying to Stare at him.

Jack had so much less trouble maintaining balance on the non-operating side of this thing. Man. Maybe this was the way to go.

As far as locating the store… Be easier if he simply remembered, since he’d have no trouble with directions. He could still give it his best shot, though.

“Off past the Glaire’s, I think.”

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack “Maybe that’s how it works where you’re from, sure. Can’t just make assumptions ’bout everyone else in the world, though.”

The absolutely incredulous look he gives Jack is so Intense it’s a miracle he doesn’t stop the segway just to figure out what the hell is happening in Jack’s mind.

“Being a twin doesn’t work differently depending on where in the world you’re from???? If it did wouldn’t you expect I myself would have At least differed from any of my other family members who are twins??” Since. You know. Half Japanese. Unless of course- Jack’s idea is that your Physical Location is the thing that changes it- In which case Abel is still only going to look at him like he’s stupid because that’s so Clearly Wrong.

Wow okay yeah that’s bothering him. It’s bothering him so badly he wants to help Jack workshop a better story because if he wants to lie fine but not about that.

Roadie 🪶Jack “Didn’t know you’re the big expert on that, too. Got a whole fairy twin taxicologist thing goin’ on?”

“My twin isn’t a… Taxicologist. Or whatever.” He makes a dismissive gesture towards Jack. “He’s… He works at a Cafe. He Does Like fairies generally, but that’s just because he likes anything pink and sparkly. Regardless, he’s been called a changeling before. Or a Demon. Anything to explain to uptight [Buttheads] how someone can be disabled.” If he hadn’t decided Jack was also Autistic he’d be giving him a VERY disapproving look right now.

Roadie 🪶Jack “But where’s the pizazz in that? ’sides, the whole point’s that there weren’t parents in the first place. You’re fixatin’ on the wrong part.”

“Bull. Everyone has Parents. Even if you [Fricken] Wish you Didn’t. Hardly matters to me, though. Just tells me you probably don’t like them.”

Roadie 🪶Jack “Off past the Glaire’s, I think.”

Abel makes a face but doesn’t correct him on the name. That’s fine. He’ll follow the directions Jack gives and hope for the best. Maybe just Maybe he’s lucky enough Jack can remember this.

Roadie 🪶Jack

Abel Lazarus The absolutely incredulous look he gives Jack is so Intense it’s a miracle he doesn’t stop the segway just to figure out what the [heck] is happening in Jack’s mind.

Jack, however, had to stop to break down laughing. At least it was physically impossible for him to fall off, if he lost that much focus. Not that he needed any help in matters of balance. At least he sure thought he didn’t. In his current state… Well. Could go either way.

Abel Lazarus “Being a twin doesn’t work differently depending on where in the world you’re from???? If it did wouldn’t you expect I myself would have At least differed from any of my other family members who are twins??”

“Y’ expect me to know anything ’bout your extended family? I don’t, an’ I got no reason to.”

“Hope ya got some decent goodbyes in, I guess. For if you never make it back, ’r vice versa.”

Abel Lazarus “My twin isn’t a… Taxicologist. Or whatever.” He makes a dismissive gesture towards Jack. “He’s… He works at a Cafe. He Does Like fairies generally, but that’s just because he likes anything pink and sparkly. Regardless, he’s been called a changeling before. Or a Demon. Anything to explain to uptight [Buttheads] how someone can be disabled.”

Despite his claim moments prior, at least Jack’s eyes didn’t glaze over at the brief Cain rundown. He did squint at the end, clearly not putting the pieces together too easily. What did any of those statements have to do with each other? Maybe he’d imagined it all, that’d explain it. Anyway.

“No, I meant you’re the taxicologist on all this stuff.”

Abel Lazarus “Bull. Everyone has Parents. Even if you [Fricken] Wish you Didn’t. Hardly matters to me, though. Just tells me you probably don’t like them.”

Another laugh, a little lower. At least someone found Abel’s suffering funny.

“Clearly you don’t know how families work in Florida. I’ll forgive ya this once.”

“But I guess it’d be hard to like ’em, sure!”

Abel Lazarus Abel makes a face but doesn’t correct him on the name. That’s fine. He’ll follow the directions Jack gives and hope for the best. Maybe just Maybe he’s lucky enough Jack can remember this.

Despite losing concentration a few times and also seeing a few branches of mall that weren’t actually there, Jack’s directions weren’t the worst. Eventually they pulled up to Billiams Aboba.

“Oh, y’think they got samples while we’re here?” Of knives or food? Both? Both is good.

Abel Lazarus

Roadie 🪶Jack “Hope ya got some decent goodbyes in, I guess. For if you never make it back, ’r vice versa.”

Abel looks Genuinely upset with this comment for a moment. The idea catches and his mind ends up racing but the only thing good enough to pull him out is Jack’s sheer audacity to be Hopelessly Annoying. Regardless, he does debate being a little petty. Jack didn’t like him opening up earlier did he? Is that a way to mess with him? Say emotional things to make him knock it off? He feels something hollow in his stomach and it’s Endlessly tempting to share the pain. Even if that isn’t remotely similar for Jack.

“… Either way I’ll probably see some of them again, God Willing.” Maybe not the ones who matter most but. He’s almost certain he’ll burn with a few other family members come his time.

Roadie 🪶Jack “No, I meant you’re the taxicologist on all this stuff.”

“I’m a Secretary.” He looks even more unimpressed. Does he LOOK like he’d do something so whimsical? Come On Jack.

Roadie 🪶Jack “Clearly you don’t know how families work in Florida. I’ll forgive ya this once.”

Even MORE baffling. FLORIDA??? God. He believes Jack. His Uncle who moved to Florida is so unhinged it makes PERFECT Sense. Everyone in Florida has Something up with them. That’s what Abel Believes.

Roadie 🪶Jack “Oh, y’think they got samples while we’re here?” Of knives or food? Both? Both is good.

Abel shrugs and parks the Segway so they can both FINALLY be free from it. Not that Abel minds it terribly- but still.

“They might. You’ll want to check when you’re not trying to show me any knives, though. Otherwise if a Denizen is serving them they won’t stick around to offer any.” He hopes for Jack’s sake there are samples. Maybe he’ll be even easier to deal with if he’s content. “You’re almost free. Just show me what I should get and you can go on as you please.” Abel isn’t currently upset enough with him to not plan to Drop him back off at his own segway after but we’ll see how things go.

Wouldn’t Really be a good idea- but Abel doesn’t always make good choices so!

Roadie 🪶Jack

Abel Lazarus Abel looks Genuinely upset with this comment for a moment.

Well, at least Abel was… Hmm. Jack wasn’t sure where that train of thought was supposed to be headed, but they’d all been derailing recently anyway so no use worrying.

Abel Lazarus “… Either way I’ll probably see some of them again, God Willing.”

Jack just squinted. Despite having some ambiguous belief in an afterlife himself, he sure wasn’t interpreting it in that context. And it made no sense in any other context.

“Rrright, uh. Good luck.”

Abel Lazarus “I’m a Secretary.”

“An’ I’m a thie—‘scuse me, a mall cop—but I still get t’ have hobbies.”

“Doubt the kitchen store’s gonna have any whittling knives t’ show off with. But ’s not that fun to watch, anyway, ’r so I’ve been told.” Job: knives. Hobby: also knives. Not quite proving his point.

Abel Lazarus “They might. You’ll want to check when you’re not trying to show me any knives, though. Otherwise if a Denizen is serving them they won’t stick around to offer any.”

It took Jack way too long to digest the point there. He bit his tongue just a bit, but it didn’t wake him up much. Just keep moving, eventually it’d pan out. After he accidentally slammed his shin into a display table or something, most likely.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Abel Lazarus “You’re almost free. Just show me what I should get and you can go on as you please.”

“Yeesh, really gotta make sure ya sound like the man in charge, huh? Take it down a notch. I got no obligation to do this right if you’re gonna be so self-important ’bout it.”

Regardless, he swiftly located the wall with rows of display cutlery behind glass and approached. Yeah, not exactly daggers, but hey. Whatever you could do to fish you could pretty much do to people, right?

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