Gossip girrrrls | Abel + Viper | Desert Island Car

Viper

Abel Lazarus “I still don’t think you deserved that.”

As much as she had been trying to reassure Abel that he didn’t deserve things that had happened to him, she was… still reassured somewhat by his confirmation that no, he didn’t believe she deserved to be brutally attacked. To be fair, very few people did deserve something like that. But Viper had been convinced for so long that she had. Her illegal actions, she knew they’d have come to bite her ass eventually, but…

Nobody could ever expect someone was going to stalk them and ambush them at home.

Abel Lazarus He takes the cross and holds it tight in his palm. Perhaps for the first time he visibly prays in front of Viper. When he finishes he takes Judas and the rest of his things. He’s careful to keep Bunroe and Judas close.

Viper looks away as he prays, to give him some privacy. She’s considerate enough to realise that… religion is important to some folks, and she would never deliberately interrupt someone’s communication with their chosen deity! Once she was sure he was done, she looks back to him with a lopsided, affectionate smile. Wow, she was so proud of him rn 🥺!!!!

Abel Lazarus “But would I be good for him?

“Maybe I’m a biased opinion, but…I think you would be! He clearly thinks so too, that’s why he’s interested in you!” Viper lightly punches his shoulder. “Don’t sell yourself short.” He’s very sweet, she doesn’t know why he wouldn’t be a good fit!!!!!! As long as Abel could redirect his anger in less destructive ways again, he would be perfect!!!!

Abel Lazarus “… Have you ever talked to her about it?”

“Wh- N-NO? That’s like asking to be rejected! And I…” Viper’s voice gets really small. “I don’t wanna ruin our friendship. We’ve been friends for… um…” She starts counting on her fingers. “13 years…? Now? I, like, hella don’t wanna ruin it.”

She heaves a sigh. Yeah…. moving on, perhaps it would be good. But at the same time, it wasn’t that easy. It never had been. So many times she’d lay awake at night, heart hammering way-too-loud in her chest after she and Kanna had spent time together, just wishing she could drop how deeply in love she was with her best friend.

But it hadn’t happened.

…Maybe he was right. Maybe.

“…Yeah. M-Maybe you’re right.” Viper’s ears started to turn pink. And very, very softly she added, “…They are pretty cute.” …Man she knew Abel heard it, but… she really hoped he didn’t somewhere in there. It was so embarrassing.

“…There’s just no way they’d be interested. I did quite almost kill them before.” She says, as if Matsu isn’t likely having a similar crisis themselves. And as if she didn’t even realise Matsu was embarrassed by her being a bit of an unintentional….and slightly intentional flirt.

Abel Lazarus

Viper Don’t sell yourself short.

As far as Abel’s concerned- he isn’t. He feels like Viper’s actually selling him quite long.

Viper “Wh- N-NO? That’s like asking to be rejected! And I…”

People ruin friendships over unreciprocated feelings? How strange it must be for people who had friends before their twenties.

Maybe he doesn’t get it because the only person who’s ever confessed to him is Vinzent and Abel doesn’t exactly… Find himself Uninterested expressly? Is that a part of it? Who knows.

“I… Don’t think it’ll ruin your friendship unless you let it? Besides, how can you Know if you don’t… Ask?” Maybe it’s the fact that if Vinzent hadn’t been as outright as ‘you’ Abel would have thought it was anyone else under the sun. His own brother would have been far more likely of an assumption and Vinzent hasn’t even met Cain. How could you think someone would just… Know? People can be That confident in it?

But still. He’ll let it slide.

“I almost killed you and you said yes to my proposal.” He’s teasing her a little. He flips her ponytail over her face again.

“I don’t know if they like you- but how do you know if you don’t… Ask?” This seems… Obvious to him. “Besides- if you’re not sure beyond thinking they’re cute- go back over the checklist you gave me. It’s only fair.”

Might want to deflect him back onto Vinzent at this rate Viper.

Viper

“Ok, ok, but, like, what if I said something, and then, like… she’s disgusted by me? Or just doesn’t want to feel like she has someone constantly trying to score or something, y’know? It’s like… I dunno!” Yeah, sure, there’s been times where they’ve both been a little tipsy, kissed each other and decided it didn’t mean anything, but that’s just totally normal BFF roommate things!!!! Right!!!!

Viper is also deep down convinced she’s the one who took the initiative in those tipsy situations. She wasn’t. Viper making a move is like a solid 50/50 but her slight sliver of rational thought often wins out.

Abel Lazarus “I almost killed you and you said yes to my proposal.”

“IT’S DIFFERENT-!” Viper protested, a little loudly but not Unkindly or anything! She flips her hair back over with a huff, giving him a pout and Stare. “You didn’t almost kill me! You knocked me out. Totally different.” A small pause, “But, I said yes ’cause you’re like, total catch? Duh?” Ok that part was just as much of a tease in return…

Abel Lazarus “I don’t know if they like you- but how do you know if you don’t… Ask?”

“Because they wouldn’t tell me! They think we’re engaged, and, besides, do you even know what a tsundere is? They’re a textbook tsundere!” Viper whines, burying her face in her hands. But she glares at him for daring to use her own words against her.

“I mean…It’s kinda hard to say. ’Cause I dunno… but…” She’s so red. “I dunno. I guess…in a way, I kinda… wanna make sure they feel okay, and…cared about.” It’s because she’s so used to feeling the same when Kanna has a breakdown. “…And…I guess… I kinda admired their resolve when…I did fight them.” She shakes her head, “I dunno. Maybe I just think they’re cute.” …It’s something about them, at least.

Abel Lazarus

Viper “Ok, ok, but, like, what if I said something, and then, like… she’s disgusted by me? Or just doesn’t want to feel like she has someone constantly trying to score or something, y’know? It’s like… I dunno!”

Okay. Nope- Nevermind. New Fear Unlocked. Perhaps it’s a LOT better Vinzent has already confessed to him because otherwise? N O P E. Not confessing. That’s a THING??? PEOPLE THINK THAT??? Maybe he should have paid more attention to social things around him in Highschool- Goodness knows he would be the person who disgusts people he confesses to.

Viper “You didn’t almost kill me! You knocked me out. Totally different.” A small pause, “But, I said yes ’cause you’re like, total catch? Duh?”

“You… Do know concussions can kill people, right? I was Actually worried I was going to kill you.” He gives her a look but his cheeks flush red at the tease and he’s quick to avert his eyes.

“Am not…” Really convincing.

Viper do you even know what a tsundere is?

Maybe? Vaguely? Sounds like a word Cain would have said at some point. He kind of just shrugs about that because he’s not Entirely sure-

“Maybe- You can get to know them to be more sure, of course, but. If it’s definitely a crush- You can. Clarify we aren’t actually engaged to them? Or. Maybe just… I don’t know.”

What’s a thing people do?

“I guess… you just have to hope they’d be honest if you confessed. Maybe it’ll be awkward- but. This isn’t like your roommate situation. There’s less riding on it. Maybe you could also? Try to figure out if they would like you first?” He shrugs. “I can do what I can to help?”

And Viper mentions her feelings and it’s cute! Adorable. Aw. “… Get to know them more, of course, but. I don’t know, that sounds close to what you mentioned at least?” He thinks so anyway. It’s the best help he can offer with his inexperience.

Viper

Abel Lazarus “You… Do know concussions can kill people, right? I was Actually worried I was going to kill you.”

“Yeah, ’course I know. But I mean, I didn’t die when I almost got chloroformed and taken hell-knows-where! Like a concussion could kill me!” Viper is actually somewhat proud saying that out loud. YEAH she survived a concussion! Girlboss moment!

But… god. Having to awkwardly explain that they weren’t actually engaged? Yikes! She could cope with that, though…

… He was right. “Yeah. There is kinda… less riding on it, you’re right…” She tucks her hair behind her ear absent-mindedly, trying to distract from how chaotic her feelings were getting right now. The smile she gives him is shy, but grateful. “…Thanks, Abes… I think….I’ll need the help.” Viper leans her head into his shoulder again. “…You seem like you’d be good at…. research. Even if you’re an awful liar.”

Viper pokes his forehead.

She’s so embarrassed.

“…Maybe it is.” It felt weird admitting it. “…I think…maybe…I’ve got something I could give them. As a gift. Or something…” Not that she’d even have the courage to give it to them. “Hey, Abel… maybe I could accidentally propose to them too. It worked well enough for us, didn’t it?” She grinned, elbowing him lightly.

Abel Lazarus

Viper “…You seem like you’d be good at…. research. Even if you’re an awful liar.”

He isn’t… positive what exactly that means but he’ll take it! He can do Viper some favors. Certainly. Is he sure how? No. But that’s a later problem.

Viper “Hey, Abel… maybe I could accidentally propose to them too. It worked well enough for us, didn’t it?”

This gives him a moment of pause. How would that work in confessing feelings? DOES…

DOES VIPER THINK…

He looks at Viper for a long moment. Not responding. Trying to figure out if he’s misinterpreting (he is) or if he understands. Eventually he just.

“We… viper do you think we’re… dating???” He’s so confused. Why be so casual about Vinzent???? “I thought this was like. A joke???”

Oh boy. This has suddenly become too much all at once. There’s no way right? Definitely… definitely not.

Viper

“HUH….?” Viper sounds as confused as Abel feels. Reaching up, she puts her hand to his forehead as if checking he didn’t have a fever that was making him say something so weird. “No way!” Viper snorts, waving a dismissive hand.

“Like I know fifty bucks is fifty bucks but I still am not into guys.” A pause. “And you don’t seem to like women, sooooo… I’m just messing with ya.” Viper ruffles his hair affectionately. “Don’t take me so serious. Unless I’m being like, super serious!”

It is…. so deeply amusing to her that he misunderstood and thought that she actually believed they were together and yet was still actively trying to help set him up with Vinzent, but you know what…. fair actually.

“I was kiddin’ anyway, I think Su-chan would probs take my head off if I went and accidentally proposed like that.”

Abel Lazarus

Oh he’s so relieved-

Viper Like I know fifty bucks is fifty bucks

That’s strangely specific but sure.

“I- I mean I don’t like women- probably.” He can’t say for positive but it’s… really not likely. He’s still blushing.

“I’m. Not sure it’s Accidental if we’re talking about doing it?” He rubs his cheek absently for a second. As if that hides he’s getting redder.

“… I gave Vinzent a ring…” he’s so embarrassed to admit it now with. Everything. “… I’m. Not sure if. He’s gotten the wrong impression about it.”

Embarrassing…

“But. I’m not sure Ito would take your head off.” Yell? Yeah probably- but. Probably not that big of a response? Or maybe he’s wrong Matsu wasn’t very full of fight their only interactions.

Viper

Abel Lazarus “I’m. Not sure it’s Accidental if we’re talking about doing it?”

“Eh, technicalities, technicalities,” Viper waves her hand dismissively, scoffing as she did so. “It’s only not accidental if they know we talked about it.” Viper that is not how that works!!!! But now she gets to see why Abel was even more embarrassed about the ring than he probably should have been… she can’t even stop the raucous laugh that erupts over the fact Abel had actually given Vinzent a ring too.

“That makes so much sense now!” Viper wheezed, “I- I doubt he did, don’t worry, but-!” Viper snorted into her hand as she tried to control herself and be normal for one second. “It probably did seem a little unusual. People don’t normally just give each other rings like that.” She’s still giggling away at the thought, actually.

“Hahaha, you never know! I’d definitely get chewed out for it though!” Admittedly, it was an entertaining thought and she was curious how they would respond to such a blatant declaration of affection. Perhaps…. once she got to know them a little more.

“Hey, Abes. If I decide to try and pull it- will you gift me another ring?” Viper you’re really just asking for another ring? Don’t say she doesn’t ask for much!

Abel Lazarus

Abel hides his face in Viper’s hair to cover up just how embarrassed he is right now. He’s so embarrassed he doesn’t immediately attempt to explain himself or anything- just. Hides. Tries to cool off. Her hair is so soft that’s so nice. The real world doesn’t exist. Only the hair world exists now.

“… I… Didn’t think about that.” He clears his throat. “I just. I was just thinking that it could be pawned for a lot of money and I owed him. So.” He’s. How didn’t he think of that? He knows he’s socially inept but! That badly? Seriously? He regrets trying. Let him go back to work Please.

“… Yeah.” He has. So many rings. So. So many. “… Ito’s hands are probably a lot smaller than mine though. I’m not sure any of the rings will fit them.” The offer still exists but. All the same.

“… We should get off the floor.” Suddenly he’s acutely aware they’re on a Bathroom floor. Not… The cleanest place there is.

But after a quiet moment he finally speaks again. “You know. I think I just… Assumed no one would ever like me.” That feels vulnerable to admit. “Let alone… Someone like Vinzent, I guess.”

Viper

This is something Viper has gotten used to by now, being used as a hiding place. It was…admittedly, something she enjoyed a lot, too! It was nice to be such a comfort to people… even if it was comforting them from embarrassing them deliberately!

“…That’s fair too!” Viper assures, gently holding onto Abel’s hand and squeezing it almost comfortingly. “But it probably means more sentimentality-wise…y’know… I dunno. To me it does, anyway.” This was true, she knew that she cherished the ring on her finger already. Abel was so dear to her and she wouldn’t just give it up.

Abel Lazarus “… Ito’s hands are probably a lot smaller than mine though. I’m not sure any of the rings will fit them.”

“That’s okay, it’s the thought that counts… unless we find some jeweller’s train car and I can fix it…” …Her own hands fit the ring a little loose, just down to their size difference, but she was lucky her fingers were a little on the big side. She’s got string…somewhere. Make some crappy-ass necklace or something.

“…Oh. Yeah. Good idea.” Viper is ready to get up when she hears Abel’s voice again, interrupting her mid-movement. Her gaze softens, and she pets his head gently.

“…I know how that feels.” She murmured, standing up, offering her hands to him. She knows he can get up, but…! “You’re real lucky. I absolutely, like, think you deserve it. But…it prob doesn’t feel the same for you, like, I know that… but I hope ya can be nice to yourself more often, Abes.”

Abel Lazarus

Viper “But it probably means more sentimentality-wise…y’know… I dunno. To me it does, anyway.”

… Maybe if he has the guts to do so he should ask Vinzent about it. What it might… Mean to him at this point?

Who knows. Maybe.

“… Maybe I’ll… Ask him about it.”

Viper “That’s okay, it’s the thought that counts… unless we find some jeweller’s train car and I can fix it…”

Abel… Would love a Jeweler car. It would be a good way to get a new chain- or. Make the connection for his cross stronger. He trusts the paperclip will hold it- but still. He worries.

He shifts himself into a position where he can get up easier before taking Viper’s hand- considering he doesn’t want to pull her to the ground and he can’t use his other arm to push off the ground. Once he’s standing he moves to the sink to finish cleaning his face off. It’s been driving him up the wall to not have all of his products here- He hopes he doesn’t end up with any pimples or anything.

“… I wonder if Vinzent’s fits him.” He never checked- really. Probably should.

Viper I hope ya can be nice to yourself more often, Abes.”

He… Pauses for that. Just for a moment. Looking down at the sink. After the moment he looks at Viper through the mirror.

… He thinks about something Marius said in that letter he found a few cars ago.

Abel turns the sink off and turns to wrap Viper in his arms for a long moment. Just holding her.

“… You know. You’ll have an interesting time if you meet my family.” His voice is muffled in her hair. “I think you’d get along with more than just Cain, actually.”

Viper

Abel Lazarus “… I wonder if Vinzent’s fits him.”

“I hope so!” Viper would actually be quite sad if it didn’t fit him…because then how romantic could it really truly be?! A shame… perhaps she should pester Nekoneko to try and influence the train to give them a way to fix it.

That wouldn’t go down well.

Viper is surprised when Abel turns to hold her, but she reciprocates easily, patting his back, leaning up so her hair further submerges his face. Then, a smug grin crosses her face.

“Well, you know I’d love to meet my in-laws someday.” She can’t resist still poking fun at him for the proposal. “…You gonna introduce me as your fiancé? I think that’d be super funny.” Abel just. Don’t enable her. Please.

Abel Lazarus

“… Yeah I think it’ll confuse them.” He’s going to enable her. Maybe it’ll be funny. If anything he thinks she deserves to get to have the joke if she wants. For being here with him.

“I definitely think some of them won’t fall for it but some of them…” He laughs quietly. “It… Would be a little funny.” Great Uncle Lucius would be a funny one to scandalize… He’d probably fall for it. Have a lot to say about Viper.

“If that’s the case maybe you should know who you’ll be seeing. There’s a lot of them.” He pulls back from the hug. “You saw some of them in the tape- But I don’t think you saw my little brother in it, At least not any older than a year old.”

“… Do you have any siblings, Viper?” He pulls his hair out of the bun finally. Freeing. He Really doesn’t like buns. “Or… Cousins? I have… A Lot of cousins.”

Viper

Viper snickers- oh, she’s going to ENJOY this if she ever gets to live out her current dream of torturing Abel’s brother and family. Extended family, too. Viper knows just how to be annoying to EVERYONE, she’s had so much practice with some folks here, too, especially one certain pizza boy.

“I need to see as many of them as possible.” She grinned, a wild, wicked, cat-like grin. “I need to formulate plans and devious schemes ASAP.” She could play the part of chaotic mess, terrible romance choice… or the sweet housewife who was just so honoured to be with Abel and love him forever. Anything that would get the reaction.

“…Nah. I’m an only kiddo.” Viper shrugs, “Legacy dies with me, I guess.” She meant that… more as an, ’I’m gay so unlikely there will be blood kids’ kind of angle but given circumstances, a little… morbid.

“Closest I’ve got is Kanna’s lil’ step-sis and Hiro’s rabble.” She loved Michiko dearly, but the Azumi kids… they could be a handful at the best of times. “…Don’t really know if I’ve got anyone else cousin-wise. Mom and dad never really talked to their siblings that I knew of.”

Mars OOC saying that Viper probably DOES have cousins. Somewhere. Aunts and uncles too. Just she’s never even met them!

“I always got along just fine bein’ an only kid. More gifts for me. But I dunno. Maybe mom and dad wanted to replace me after I just up and ditched. Might have a lil brother or sister by now.” (She doesn’t)

Abel Lazarus

Viper “I need to see as many of them as possible.” She grinned, a wild, wicked, cat-like grin. “I need to formulate plans and devious schemes ASAP.”

He laughs a little about that. Honestly? To scandalize be an obvious gold digger. To confuse play the doting housewife. No one would expect Abel to go for either.

But to be fair most of them will be surprised Viper’s a girl in the first place so.

Viper Maybe mom and dad wanted to replace me after I just up and ditched.

That idea does make him frown a little but he doesn’t comment on it. What a sad idea… he… he knows it’s not the situation but he’d felt a bit… replaced by Tsubasa- he couldn’t begin to imagine how replaced he’d feel if Marius had decided he wanted children…

But luckily for Abel- Marius views Cain and Abel like his sons- and quite frankly he decided twins was Enough of a handful, thank you very much. It’s already hard enough to figure out how to break the cycle with kids you didn’t really intend on obtaining. No need to make it harder.

“Well- I’ve got a little brother too but. He’s it. As far as I’m aware.” His mother… probably didn’t have other kids out there! Maybe. He doesn’t know. ((Montie to say- depends on the AU))

He pulls up a photo of Tsubasa- a nine year old kid in colorful messy clothes and a big grin. “He’s the only other kid my dad had. His name is Tsubasa.” That his dad is Aware of at least!!! ((Montie here to say he has no other kids))

“Then of course Benedict and Cain- but you saw them.” He does pull up more recent photos of both, though. Cain wears A Lot of pink and frilly clothing. Benedict seems to dress a little closer to how Abel does- but much less formal.

“And… I have three first cousins- as Eve and Marius never had children.” He shows Kore’s family photo again-

Kore is shown with her husband and three children. Her oldest is 14 and her youngest is 4. She looks stern and gives off an almost threatening energy. Her husband, Vernon, on the other hand, seems far more friendly than she does, especially since he’s got their oldest, Lucia, on his back and the youngest, Sullivan, in his arms. Gwendolyn is moodily standing next to her mother- like she’s trying to seem too grown up for the displays of affection happening with her siblings at the big age of 10.

He points to each person in the photo and names them. A fine start. Let’s not overload Viper, though, buddy. She needs to figure out how to mess with them.

Viper

Glad to know that Viper has so many options! Scheming and deviousness was going to be fun to formulate. It always was, when she tried her best to get into situations. Confusing situations, and those in which she was the one who 100% knew what the truth was.

Viper was leaning over his shoulder…more, his arm, actually, to look at the photos presented to her. Tsubasa… what a cute kid, he didn’t look like he belonged in the Lazarus family- from what Abel was like, anyway. But very quickly she realised that Abel was an outlier in his overall fashion sense when she saw the updated picture of Cain.

“They’re so cute.” She surmises, matter-of-factly.

But then it comes to Kore’s family photo, and she grins wider.

“You really do have a lot of extended family, huh?” She looks over Kore and Gwendolyn, yeah, she has ideas… so many ideas swimming around in that brilliant mind of hers.

“Do you think they’d question your sanity if I was like, super obviously…like… in it for the money or somethin’?” Viper leans her head into his shoulder, “Or if I was just super like…. obviously not into men. I think that’d be kinda entertainin’.” Either way they’d probably just assume she was a gold digger…

Abel Lazarus

Viper Tsubasa… what a cute kid, he didn’t look like he belonged in the Lazarus family- from what Abel was like, anyway. But very quickly she realised that Abel was an outlier in his overall fashion sense when she saw the updated picture of Cain.

Tsubasa Definitely doesn’t look like a Lazarus with a head of pink hair- but luckily for him he isn’t! He is a Jones, though, which is basically a curse to sound like a weeaboo before people find out you’re actually Japanese.

Cain is an outlier, though. For sure. Not Abel.

Viper “You really do have a lot of extended family, huh?”

“Oh- Yeah. Uh. Over 60 members of the family attend the family events usually- And that’s just the more consistent visitors.” Aka the one’s Montie has developed so far. “This… It’s going to take a minute. Of course- Tsubasa is from my dad’s side- which is a lot easier. I don’t know if you’ll want to try and prank them too? I don’t… Think they’ll fall for it, though. Edgar is Very serious and dad… well. He’s got a radar for that sort of thing, I think?”

Shrug.

Viper “Do you think they’d question your sanity if I was like, super obviously…like… in it for the money or somethin’?” Viper leans her head into his shoulder, “Or if I was just super like…. obviously not into men. I think that’d be kinda entertainin’.”

He leans his head onto hers while scrolling through photos. “I’m… Not sure. They’ll definitely question me either way- but the second way they’ll at least think it’s a beard marriage.”

He settles on a photo of Eve, Marius, and Ransom. It seems to be a picture taken at a celebration of some sort- with Marius having a birthday boy hat attached to his head with elastic. Behind him is a Christmas tree and a large banner reading “Happy 39th Birthday Marius”. He doesn’t look the most pleased with the situation but his sister is leaning in close with a big cheesy grin on her face and Ransom has his arm thrown around both of them while he presses a big kiss to Marius’s cheek. Eve never appeared in the tape- but it’s clear she resembles Marius a lot. Her eyes are greyer- and she has a slightly softer rounding to her face- but other than the fact it seems she has less greys- You could mistake them for twins or something. Marius and Ransom both just look like older versions of their tape counterparts- no large changes have really occurred past both of their hair getting longer and Marius looking a bit more muscular instead of stick thin.

“This is… My ‘Auntie Eve’-” He says it in a particular way- which definitely gives you an impression she insists that’s what she’s called- “and, of course, My Uncles Marius and Ransom.”

He swipes to the next photo and pauses for only a moment. Just long enough to take in that it’s the same party- but it’s of Marius and Abel this time. It’s clearly some sort of candid since Abel looks a bit like he’s trying not to laugh at Marius having cake smashed into his face while helping him get it off.

But he swipes again to show off another photo. This one is from the party as well- instead being Marius embracing a much shorter blonde man- Which definitely looks like it’s sweet until you realize it’s to distract Marius as two people are sneaking up to do the cake smashing from the photo prior. Abel mentions the shorter blonde man, who’s hair is impressively seeming to touch the floor despite being in a high ponytail, is Midas. The two sneaking up are Midas’s spouses, Bardtholomew, Bard for short, who has long purple hair and dresses like their gender is most accurately described as Wizard Twink, and Jami, who has a death hawk and vitiligo and seemingly could be most accurately described as ’if Monster Energy was a person."

“I think you and Jami would get along.”

Viper

Abel Lazarus Cain is an outlier, though. For sure. Not Abel.

Sounds like something the outlier would think, Abel!

Abel Lazarus “Oh- Yeah. Uh. Over 60 members of the family attend the family events usually- And that’s just the more consistent visitors.”

“S-SIXTY?????” Viper sounds astounded by just how many Lazari exist in the world, let alone how many congregate for family gatherings… wow. She can’t even imagine ten of her relatives in the same room- mostly because she hasn’t met ten of them but- still!!!!!

She keeps looking over the photos, trying to ignore the shock about how many of the family there was. But she can’t help laughing at the fact that Marius had a cake smashed into his face, and Abel looks very… entertained. Happy, even! It’s such a wholesome family photo, that Viper feels her heart warmed by it.

Jami…looks so fucking cool.

“….If Jami does shit like that a lot? Yeah. We’d totally get along.” There’s an almost admiring twinkle in her eye as she examines the final photo. “I can’t resist a good prank.”

Abel Lazarus

Over 60, keep up Vipes.

But don’t worry. He’s not going through that many of them- just the people it’s going to be most necessary to know! For the joke.

“Oh yeah- Jami… really likes messing with Uncle Marius. He’s sort of… chaotic. Runs some sort of… ghost show on YouTube or something?” He. Doesn’t exactly watch the show. Sorry Jami. “They are going to insist you do an episode with them- but. They’ll be very willing to help you pull pranks. Or have help pulling pranks. Honestly… I recommend letting them in on the fact we’re just messing with people. She’d know how to best contribute.”

Slight pause on the photo showing to offer notes. “Oh. Be… careful with some people. I don’t recommend being too much with Aunt Kore. She’s…” threatening? Way too Serious? Going to ruin the joke? All of the above. “Not… worth it.”

“Auntie Eve is usually high on some kind of painkiller so. She can be pretty… erratic sometimes? Non-threateningly. It might be fun to mess with her if you want.” He personally doesn’t tend to talk to her much, though. “Bard… won’t fall for it. But they’ll help us keep it going. Midas is a wild card- but. Uncle Marius is going to believe us and… be confused.”

Who else might believe them…

“… you’d get along with Winnie I think.” He pulls up a photo of- you guessed it! Another ginger. She radiates a strong energy for sure! You get the feeling she lives wild and free and Will Not let you stop her. No matter what. “She’s also pretty into messing with people.”

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